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39

Taylor’s pov

I calmed down enough for me to be able to convince Colby to go back into his room and edit, seeing that he wasn’t nearly close to getting done what he wanted to.

I ended up feeling really bad about crying about my father.  I ruined Alex’s plans and I distracted Colby, two things I didn’t want to do.  But no matter how many times I apologized to him or texted her, they reassured me that it was okay.

I stood up from the chair, heading inside shortly after Colby.  I appreciated that he let me have my alone time, understanding that I needed time to think and calm down on my own.

I slid the door shut behind me, but Colby didn’t look in my direction.  I sat down on his couch at an angle where I could see him, so I could simply observe him as he worked.

The way his hair poked out from around the headphones, the occasional sigh he’d let out when he’d rewatch the footage that he’d have to cut out, deleting the memories and moments that fans would never get to see. 

Or the way his jawline was shaped, seeming to be able to cut anything.  He was perfect, though he’d never agree to it.  He was perfect to me.

Suddenly, Colby took off his headphones and stood up, walking over to the balcony doors and sliding them open.  I wanted to call out to him and see what he was doing, but he didn’t even look in my direction until he came back into his bedroom with a confused look on his face.

“Oh,” He began, “I didn’t see you come inside,”

He came and sat on the couch beside me, rubbing his eyes.  “Are you alright?” I asked when Colby looked back over at me, “You look like you’re about to cry,”

“No,” He looked confused once again, but I opened the camera on my phone and let him see his face, “Oh.  Yeah that’s what happens when I edit.  When Sam and I are done we usually look, like, hella stoned,”

“Are you doing okay?” He asked, resting his elbow on the back of the couch so he could face me.

I stared at the ground for a moment, thinking about the answer I wanted to give him.  I knew, deep down, I would be okay.  It was all just a faze, and it would pass over as soon as I saw my father and realized that he would be okay like before.

“I-i think so,” I said quietly, glancing up at him, “I’m sorry for crying about everything.  I really don’t usually cry,” I let out an exasperated sigh.

“It’s okay to cry, everybody cries.  I think that it’s very admirable, the way you care for your father.  I would cry if I was in your position, too.  Except my parents aren’t so sickly,” He said with a smile, and I could tell he really didn’t mean the last thing he said.

“Ouch,” I laughed, smacking his leg gently, “Not nice, Colby,” My voice fell into a more serious tone once again, “I think I’m going to go downstairs and see everyone.  Do you think Alex told them what’s going on?”

He chewed the inside of his lip, “No I don’t think so.  She hurried up and rushed in here to get me off my ass,” 

“I really wish she didn’t do that,” I picked at my nails, irritated with myself for dragging Alex into the situation and irritated with her for dragging Colby into my issues.

“If she didn’t though, what would you be doing right now?” Colby asked, “I would have no idea that anything was wrong with you.  And I’m assuming you wouldn’t have told me at all,”

I didn’t answer his question directly because we both knew he was right, “I just don’t want you to worry about me, Colby.  I am here to be here for you.  I don’t want you to wonder whether or not I’m doing okay, it’s not fair to you,”