Broken

Chapter 4

Sammie pov...

I woke up after a hellish night. I have barely slept and the little time i did sleep was restless. Getting an answer on the question, if Chris would take her away from me did not have the effect i had hoped for... The idea of him being in my house was strange and my mind was just spinning... I could not quiet my mind down... I was thinking about how to move forward... How to move forward so that Sophie would have the most contact with her dad... I thought about how and when to tell her who Chris really was... Thinking how we could co parent without making things more complicated than absolutely necessary... How i was not the only one to have a say in the way she is being raised anymore. 

I had been thinking about the fact he probably wanted Sophie to meet his family.... Her family... Then i started to think about how his family would react... Especially Lisa... Chris's mother... God they are so close and i hoped she would not hate me... I knew if she would hate me, it would only make it more complicated... Would she push him to break his promise... Push him to take her away from me... Would he listen to that and change his mind. There is no denying that she is a big influence in his life... My mind had been spiraling... It was annoying... It had become so annoying that i had gotten out of bed and cleaned the fridge in the middle of the night hoping it would help me sleep...  

I looked at the clock and my heart skipped a beat seeing it is 10.30... I guess i had fallen asleep so late that i had slept in... "Shit." I say to myself panicking a little as i can't remember a time that i had slept in... I had not been woken up which means Chris probably was up with Sophie. It is not that i dont trust him when it comes to kids... He loves kids and is great with them... He is great with Sophie... But i have never missed a breakfast... It was just making me anxious...

I scramble out of bed and walk to the kitchen where I heard Chris and Sophie laughing. I take a deep breath calming myself. I had to admit it was a nice sound... I stood in the doorway, as i watch what was happening and smile, they look cute together. For a second i watched the life i could have had... It was surreal... It stirred all these feelings inside of me... Feelings i thought i had put to bed a long time ago... A warm feeling spreading through my body as i watch them together... He looks at her with nothing else but love... Chris had made breakfast, pots and pans everywhere. My kitchen in complete chaos as he was now entertaining Sophie by pulling weird faces. She was giggling, a big happy smile on her face... I could see love in her eyes to...  He sees me standing there and he blushes. His whole demeanor changes and i know he is nervous for my reaction. I take a deep breath as i realize i am not mad... But the feeling i did have, i push down...  I have to keep a level head and not get sucked in again... 

"Is Chris being funny sweetheart?" I say walking over and I kissed her little head before I got myself a cup of coffee. "I am sorry for the mess" Chris said nervously scratching the back of his neck. "I heard Sophie was awake and you were still in a deep sleep, so I thought I let you sleep." He said the sound of his voice unsure.  "It's okay Chris. Normally i dont sleep in... But i couldn't sleep last night..." I mumble before focusing my attention on Sophie. "Did you have a nice breakfast sweetheart?" I ask Sophie. "Cwis made pancakes." She squealed. "He did?" I answered smiling. "And you ate them?"  I say smirking. "Hey!" Chris says faking being hurt. "My cooking skills have improved in the last years." He says and i chuckle. "I saved you some..." He says and i give him a small smile... "Thank you..." I say as he puts a plate in front of me... But to be honest i dont feel hungry... 

"So do you have any plans today?" I ask Chris taking a bite of my pancakes. To my surprise they are really good.... He beams at me as i take another bite while nodding... "I need to go to Seb's house. Scott has been calling wanting an update. I don't know what to tell them?" I looked at him. "He knows?" I ask sounding a little panicked. Before Chris could answer I held up my hand. "Just a minute." I say to Chris before turning to Sophie. "Sweetheart do you wanna watch the little mermaid while mommy and Chris have a conversation?"  I ask Sophie as i did not want to talk about this stuff in front of her...