Broken

Chapter 14

Chris pov...

"What?!" I say in utter shock. Sammie is still with her back turned towards me... I see her shoulders move as she takes a deep breath... "You should say goodbye to Sophie... That is the least you can do..." Sammie says again... My heart sinks and all of a sudden it hits me... She thinks i am not choosing her and Sophie... "Sammie... I am not..." I say fighting back my tears... But i can't finish my sentence as she turns around in one swift move... The look in her eyes makes me shiver. The look in her eyes makes my blood run cold... So cold... So, void of emotion... It is like she has shut her emotions off... It is scary... Like she is not there...

"Sammie..." I sigh but she shakes her head... "No! You are the one to walk out... You can be the one to disappoint her..." Sammie says raising her voice... "SAMMIE!!! I am not walking out on you or Sophie!" I yell back at her... She looks at me stunned her eyes all of a sudden soft and tears start to well in her eyes... "You're not?" She asks her voice squeaky... "No..." I sigh and stand-up walking over to her... I step in front of her and cup her face with both hands...  

"I never was sweetheart... That was not a difficult choice to make... I would never walk out on you and Sophie ever again... You are my family... You and Sophie." I whisper and wipe away the tears that are now running down her cheeks with my thumbs... "I need to apologize for never taking you serious when you tried to talk to me about Kim... I was blind and idiot... I was too trusting and dismissed your feelings about it all... This is all my fault... And for that i am so sorry... I ruined us..." I say tearing up myself... Sammie sighs... She looks away biting her lip... "Maybe not all your fault." She mumbles... "It is not?" I ask totally caught off guard... She shakes her head but says nothing... She stays quiet for a second... 

"I am not saying you are blameless... You could have talked to me... But she was your friend. You trusted her. She knew how to play you. How to get to you..." She says and i am surprised... "I... I... I dont know what to say to that..." I whisper and she bites her lip again... "Thank Sara..." She mumbles and i am even more confused. "She advocated on your behalf..." Sammie mumbles and i smile a little... "I like her already..." I mumble back and Sammie sighs... "Doesn't mean you are blameless..." She says again... "I know..." I mumble back as we stare in each other's eyes...

"I do have a confession to make..." I whisper and Sammie looks up... I have to do my best to not grin as her arms are still around my waist. She is not letting go and it feels so nice holding her in my arms... It feels nice to have her pressed against me... She still fits perfectly. I am hyper aware of her hands which have a grip on my shirt... I take a deep breath as i am nervous to tell her i called ma... I dont know how she will react when i tell her ma knows...

"While you were out grocery shopping i called ma... I needed some clarity to vent... Not to tell me what to do... But i just needed to talk to her...She told me things... Things i never wanted to hear before..." I say feeling another wave of shame wash over me... "I know we have not talked about it... And maybe i should have waited to talk to her until we talked but i needed to vent a little bit..." I whisper and she hums and puts her head back on my chest... She does not seem fazed. "I had coffee with Sara to vent... So, we are even..." She mumbles and i sigh... "Hold that thought..." I whisper as more fear sets in... I am comfortable and in heaven with Sammie in my arms... Comfortable and in heaven to hold her and i dont want that to stop... She nuzzles into me more... "Ma knows..." I whisper and she freezes and lifts her head of my chest... She looks up at me and i expect her to be angry... But all i see is fear... 

"What did she say?" She whispers her voice trembling... "The first thing she said was OMG i have another grandbaby... She was excited..." I say and Sammie's lip start to quiver it is like it is not registering that i said that ma was excited... She is on the verge of tears and i know she is scared that ma is angry... "Sweetheart... She is not angry... She has always been on your side..." I whisper and this breaks her, and she is now fully sobbing... I hold her tight rubbing her back as her grip on my shirt tightens... 

"I am so tired Chris..." She says sobbing and i can feel her legs give out... I react in a split second and lift her up bridal style... She doesnt protest... She is almost limp in my arms as if all the energy has drained from her body... She just nuzzles into me... For a moment i contemplate walking her to her bedroom but i think that that probably would give the wrong message... So, i walk to the couch... She is still crying as i sit down with her in my lap... "So tired..." She says sobbing and kiss the top of her head... I think she has been holding it together for so long that it is all coming out at once... Now that Sophie is not here, she probably feels comfortable to do so... At least that is what i think... I dont think she wants to break down in front of Sophie and risking Sophie to get upset to... 

"Shhhh... Shhhhh... It is okay... Let it all out. It is okay..." I murmur... Her body is shocking as she is sobbing gasping for air between sobs... "Go take a nap sweetheart... Just take a little rest..." I murmur but she shakes her head... "We... Are... Supposed... To... Talk..." She says between sobs and i kiss the top of her head with a little smile as she is trying to keep her eyes open... "We will sweetheart... You have the most important answer... I am not going anywhere. We will have time to talk..." I whisper and she shakes her head again... "I have to pick up Sophie in 2 hours..." She says and i sigh... "I will wake you... I promise..." I whisper and she takes a deep breath... "Okay maybe 5 minutes..." She says and wants to stand up but i pull her back... "Can you please stay here... I just want to hold you for a minute..." I murmur and another deep breath escapes her... "Okay..." She mumbles and she hadn't even said it of i feel her whole body relax... She is asleep...

I just watch her... Curled up in my arms and even though her face is red and puffy from crying she looks beautiful... I smile as she nuzzles into me even more in her sleep. But i feel myself falling asleep to... I am tired to... So, i slide down gently making sure Sammie does not wake up. I lay her beside me and pull out my phone setting an alarm. I dont think she will forgive me if i forget to wake her up and making her miss pick up... 

I lay on my side and wrap my arms around her... Sammie is still asleep and i smile as she automatically nuzzles into me... I close my eyes and feel my own body relax because in this moment i feel like all is well in the world and i can finally breathe.