Broken

Chapter 5

Sammie pov...

We are on the way to get Chris's stuff... I had called the car service to take us there. I dont own a car but had a car service when i needed it... The closer and closer we got to Chris his friend's apartment, the more anxious I got. Sophie didn't have this problem at all. Sitting in her car seat between me and Chris she was babbling the whole way there. Chris was smiling and talking back at her while I am just staring out the window. All of a sudden, a hand waved in front of my face. "Huh? what?" I said being pulled out of my thoughts. "Are you okay?" Chris asked.  "Yeah, sure just thinking." I said letting out a sigh. "Don't worry I told them to not say anything when Sophie is around.  About me being you know what." I let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you" I said giving him a small smile.

"But we are going to tell, right?" He asked me. I nodded, "Eventually... We will see how it goes..." I say letting out a deep sigh before i look out the window again. "I am trying to get some time off." He says smiling. I just nodded. "Sammie...? I am serious about this..." I nodded again. I feel so anxious... I dont know it i was ready for this... It was one thing being tucked away just the 3 of us... But this... This added a new dimension to it all... Were i was thinking it would be good to get out and have other people around us for a distraction before, i was not so sure now... 

Part of me wanted to throw him out and leave with Sophie to where he couldn't find us. But that wouldn't be fair to Sophie. She already loved Chris even when she didn't know he was her dad... He loves her... I could see it in his eyes from the first moment he stepped over my threshold and said hello to her...

We arrived at the building and Chris helped Sophie out of her car seat. We walked inside and to the elevator. As we were waiting, I am internally scolding myself for coming with him. The elevator door opens, and Chris and Sophie walk in. But it was like I was glued to my spot. Chris stopped the door from closing. "Sammie?  are you coming?"  Chris ask looking worried maybe a little anxious himself. "Mommy?" Sophie says confused and i looked at her. "Yes, baby I am coming" I say as i step in the elevator. I give her a little smile.

As I stood next to Chris waiting for the elevator to take us up, he grabs my hand giving it a little squeeze. I look at our hands... His fingers laced with mine and part of me wants to pull my hand back... But my anxiety screams at me to hold on for dear life... But i can't help but stare at our hands... It feels so foreign and yet so familiar which is even more confusing... "They are gonna love you and Sophie" he whispers.

I blush, the elevator doors open. We walk into a long hallway his hand still wrapped around mine... At the third door Chris stood still and let go of my hand to grab some keys. He put Sophie down and opened the door. I have to control my breathing as i am just so anxious that i am scared i will lose it. We walked in. Sophie was not so sure anymore and hid behind my legs. "Hello?" Chris yelled into the apartment. "Kitchen" a voice yelled back. "Mommy" Sophie said stretching her arms out to me. I picked her up and followed Chris further down into the apartment. I keep telling myself that i have to keep calm... Not just for me but for Sophie... I dont want her to be scared... 

We walk into a spacious kitchen. I look around it is definitely a bachelor apartment. 3 sets of eyes were looking at me and Sophie who was now shy and had buried her head in my neck in a attempt to hide.

"Hey guys" Chris says a big smile on his face. "This is Sammie, and this is Sophie." He says poking Sophie trying to get her out of her shell. She took a quick peak but quickly hid again. I give everyone a small smile. "This is Seb, Mackie and of course you know Scott." I nodded again. "Hi" I say forcing myself to keep smiling.