Broken

Chapter 12

Sammie pov...

"Wauw..." Sara says as we are having coffee, i told Chris i was going to drop off Sophie and do some grocery shopping but i had also texted Sara to meet up for coffee. I had not told Chris this but i needed to vent a little bit before the conversation we were about to have. Maybe Sara could give me a different insight to things... Or maybe i needed to hear that i was right... Or crazy...

"Wauw?  That is all you got?" I say a little annoyed as i just explained everything to her what has happened over the last couple of days... "I am proud of you..." She says this shit eating grin on her face. "You confuse me..." I sigh as i just feel so emotionally drained. I am so tired i had barely slept. "You stood up for yourself... You... Sweet forgiving Sammie. You are letting him squirm and work for it..." Sara says and i sigh... "Yeah well Sophie deserves a father who is there for her... I need to protect her. I dont want him to break her little heart..." I say and Sara gives me a small smile... "And what does Sammie need..." She asks and i look at her confused... "You got your answer... So, what now..." She says and i shake my head a little looking down at my cup... "If i knew that we would not be having this conversation..." I mumble barely audible...

"Can i ask you something?" She says and  i hum nodding my head slowly. "I know i have teased you about this before but this time i am asking seriously..." She says and i take a deep breath... "Do you still love him?" She asks and i feel my heart start to race and my breath hitch in my throat. "What!? No! Of course, not..." I say offended my voice sounding a little squeaky and Sara looks at me raising her eyebrow. I can see she does not believe me... I feel tensed. 

"I love how he is with Sophie... How she is with him..." I quickly say and i can't help but smile thinking about that... "Sammie?" She says and i sigh... "No... I do not love him..." I say standing up grabbing my things... "I need to go... I still have some shopping to do before i have a talk with Chris... He is going to give me an answer and we will see how to go from there..." I say and Sara sighs... 

"Sammie... Can i play devil's advocate for a second..." Sara says as i put on my coat... "Would i be able to stop you?" I say and Sara smirks and shakes her head. "Fine..." I mumble and she smirks again... "I am not saying you should go easy on him... But keep in mind this... This woman knew him through and through and used that to manipulate him for whatever reason... She knew him for so long and he trusted her... Should he have talked to you... Yes... Is he blameless? No... But i do think he regrets it... From what you told me i can somewhat understand it... Again... Grown man... Not blameless... But still..." She says and i sigh... "What are you saying..." I mumble feeling vulnerable and she sighs... 

"Sammie... It is obvious you still love him..." She says and i want to protest but she holds up her hand and i shut up... "I know you say you dont... But i think you do... I think you are just too afraid and hurt to admit it to yourself yet... And from what you told me i think he still loves you... I think you both are scared... Scared of getting hurt again... What i am trying to say is... We all make mistakes... But if there is a chance to be happy together... Because let's face it... You both were happy together and we wouldn't be here if that woman had not done what she has done... You would be a family...  Sammie you never really dated... And part of me understands because Sophie is your everything... But was that the only reason? Dont let this woman take anymore from you then she already has... You deserve to be happy... And i think that you could be happy with Chris and Sophie as a family... I think you didn't really date was because deep down inside you hoped he would show up one day... It is okay to still love him..." She says an i tear up and sit back down looking at my fingers... She sighs and sits down next to me and takes my hand in hers...

"It is okay to still have the dream of a happy family with Chris, to still love him... You just have to admit to yourself that you want it... And maybe let him suffer a little bit more..." She says and gives my hand a little squeeze... I chuckle through my tears at the suffer part before taking in a sharp breath. "I am just so confused..." I whisper and she puts her arms around me and hugs me. 

"I know... It is all a lot... But if you have a chance to be happy... Dont let that bitch, take that from you again... If you want that life, then dont let her win... You are Sammie... You are amazing. Any man should be lucky to have you and Chris knows that... He did not know about Sophie and chased you... Chris knows he would be the luckiest man alive if you decide to give him another chance..." Sara says and i sigh... "I have to hear his answer first before i even want to think about any of that... For now, i am sticking to a friend-like co-parenting thing... Because i know one thing 100% sure... I dont want that bitch near Sophie..." I mumble and Sara takes a deep breath... "Amen to that..." She mumbles and i chuckle... "I should really go... I still have some groceries to do and then the talk with Chris before it is time to pick up Sophie again..." I hum and Sara smiles... "If you need it i can pick her up to... So, you can have some more time... I can take her for pizza..." Sara says and i shake my head... "Just call if you change your mind..." She says and we hug again... "I will..." I say and stand up... 

"Thank you..." I say and Sara gives me a warm smile... "Just want you to be happy... You deserve to be happy..." She says and i kiss her cheek... "You are an amazing friend..." I say and we both chuckle as we normally are never this sappy... We say goodbye and i leave...