Oneshots! (Mostly Hermitcraft)

Possessed by an Idiot [Grian+the jungle crew]

This took far too long to write. I'm glad to call it finished, even though it isn't the greatest.

The prompt idea came from a meme that was sent to the Hermittpad Discord. I thought it (and people's responses) were absolutely hilarious, so I wrote this. That was a couple of months ago lol.

Overall, I think I'm happy with this. It was originally going to be really dark, but when I picked it up again, it turned into... I have no idea what this is.

TW: possession, a coma

^-^

It's night and raining. Grian pulled the shutters closed on his hobbit hole before retiring to bed. While he slept, he had a strange dream. There was a cloaked figure knocking on the door of his hobbit hole. It clutched a pamphlet labeled 'Possession of Humans 101.' Grian immediately detested everything about the figure, but there was nothing he could do but continue to dream.

"Hello, hi, my name is - hold on, you don't need to know that," it said, consulting the packet. "Um, sorry, one second. Geez, I've never done this before. Um, oh, here we go. 'Taking Possession.' That's the section I need."

It flipped through the pages before going to stand next to Grian's shoulder as it read out of the booklet. "Step one: get on the shoulder. Ok. Um, let me just quickly climb up here. No wait, that's slippery. Don't mind me, I'm just going to climb onto this here, alright, there we go."

Grian watched in horror as the creature, demon, whatever it was, clambered up the side of his body. He had no choice but to stand still and watch the proceedings. It slipped a couple of times but eventually perched itself on his shoulders. "Alright, that happened pretty smoothly. Ok, step two: establish eye contact." The creature moved so that he was looking into Grian's eyes from an upside-down angle, and then everything went black.

And then light again. It was day, but there was something strange in Grian's mind. When he went to do something, his body wouldn't move with him. It moved almost as an afterthought. Grian really hoped that the events of last night were not true, but all of the evidence from this morning pointed to it.

"I believe you would be correct in that assumption."

Oh, snap, it's true. His body has been taken over by some sort of creature in a cloak and with a pamphlet called 'Possession of Humans 101.' Definitely not good. Is there any way he can get out of this creepy situation?

"None whatsoever."

That's just great. The possessor began moving Grian about, walking about the hobbit hole, searching for an item. It wasn't quite clear on what it wanted, but it kept bumping into things and knocking them over, upsetting plants, chests, and all of the odds and bobs that Grian kept around.

Grian's stomach growled.

"What was that?" Grian thought about it.

"I can see your thoughts." That's creepy.

"I know." Can you, I don't know. Stop?

"I'd prefer not to. Boss will get mad." Do you think I care if the boss is mad?

"Probably not, but whatever. What was that noise?" My human self telling you it needs food.

"What's food?" It keeps me alive.

"Sad. You need sustenance to continue to live." What's sad is that you don't know how to take care of your assets.

"Where do I put this food?" My mouth.

"Here?" That's my ear, learn some anatomy.

"Um, sorry, uh, let me get out my pamphlet again." Why do you even have such a thing?