Oneshots! (Mostly Hermitcraft)

Glowberries (high in citric acid) [Jevin]

Febuwhump Day 13: "You Weren't Supposed to Get Hurt" ft. Slime!Jevin
Requested by NagisaCassi

Summary:
Jevin shouldn't eat glowberries. They lower the pH of his slime way too much.

TWs: none. This is crack.

"We're lost, Jev," Cleo said officially, looking around the lush cave.

"No, we're not," Jevin replied, eating a handful of glowberries. They glowed softly through his translucent blue slime as he chewed and swallowed. Cleo raised an eyebrow at him sceptically before returning to her survey of the cave, trying to identify which direction they'd come from.

"We are definitely lost," she stated, leaving no room for an argument. He shrugged and followed her as she began to make her way around the clay pools. The moist, pasty ground squished and slid beneath their feet, sticking to the bottom of their shoes.

"Why don't you use the coords on your communicator?" Jevin asked, picking another handful of the berries and continuing to snack on him.

Cleo shot him a withering glare before changing the subject. "You shouldn't be eating so many of those. They up the acidity of your slime. You'll dissolve something if you aren't careful."

"C'mon, Cleo," he protested. "I know my citric acid limits. I'll be fine. Besides, I can always drink some milk to neutralise the acid. And I like the sourness."

She sighed aggressively, mining a coal vein and crafting a stack of torches to use to light their path and mark which direction they'd come from. Axolotls chirruped in the pools, diving and playing in the clear water. Jevin paused to admire a white one, then hurried to catch up with his fellow hermit, finishing off his berries. He slipped and caught himself on a small dripleaf. The plant promptly dissolved in his grasp and he switched his weight to the clay bank, wincing at the blackened leaves his hand left behind.

"Oh crap," he cursed, righting himself and jogging to catch up to Cleo, stuffing his hands into his sweatshirt pocket. She gave him a quizzical look, then turned back to the route, scanning the ceiling for potential exits. A chasm to a lava lake opened beneath her feet and she yelled as she tripped, nearly falling to a fiery death.

Without thinking, Jevin ran forward and grabbed her arm, hauling her back. Her yell transformed into a scream as he left a blackened handprint behind. She collapsed to the floor, cradling her arm to her chest as he scrambled back, stuffing his hands in his pocket again.

"Sorry! I'm sorry!" he yelped frantically, searching his inventory for the gloves he kept on himself for occasions like these where his slime became either too acidic or too basic. "Notch, you weren't supposed to get hurt! I'm so sorry, Cleo, I really am." He found the gloves and pulled them on, tucking them into the sleeves of his hoodie so they completely covered any and all slime that could come out and melt other organisms.

Slowly, Cleo began laughing. "Jev, you're so gullible," she chortled, standing up and showing him the bone protruding from her arm.

"Oh screw you," he groaned, burying his head in his hands and plopping down on the clay. Cleo was a zombie, meaning all her pain receptors were, well, dead. She'd decided to play up the pain just to mess with him. "Screw you," he said again as she continued laughing, still holding her arm to her chest.

"C'mon, Jev, it was funny."

"Sure," he grumbled, standing up and turning his back to her. "How about we get out of here before I kill you in revenge."

He could feel her smirk as she said, "You can try."

Spinning on her heel, she stalked off, communicator in hand as she navigated in the general direction of spawn. Jevin grumbled under his breath as he caught up to her again. He was definitely gonna kill her and drink a celebratory milk bucket.

^-^

I eat a cheese stick every time I sit down to write. Said cheese stick helps me with my mood, often putting me in an angsty state of mind. However, this particular cheese stick has dictated that I write crack. So I wrote crack. I hope you enjoyed!