Keralis: Shashwammy, are you getting used to stupidity again after your vacation?
Xisuma: ... kind of.
Xisuma: It's a slow and torturous process.
Xisuma: Like getting used to poison.
^-^
Scar, Mumbo, and Grian: *playing Heads Up*
Heads Up: Great White Shark
Grian: Fish with teeth!
Scar: *makes a shark fin with his hand and puts it on his head*
Grian: *makes chompy motions with both of his hands*
Scar: JAWS *sings Jaws theme*
Mumbo: ALLIGATOR
Mumbo: CROCODILE
^-^
Evil Xisuma: I'M YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE!!!
Xisuma: Oh good. I thought that'd turn out to be cucumbers or something.
Xisuma: That'd be so embarrassing.
Xisuma: I mean, I know vegetables are scary and everything, but running away the second I see a cucumber? Downright humiliating.
Evil Xisuma: I take it back. You're my worst nightmare.
Xisuma: *whispering* Another one bites the dust.
^-^
Scar: Bippity boppity, your arm is now my property!
Doc: *incoherent stammering and cursing in German*
Doc: Where did you come from?!
^-^
PA: Would Impulse SV please come to the front desk?
The receptionist: *points at Pearl and Gem* These people were looking for you.
Gem: We got lost.
Impulse: I... I didn't even bring you with me.
^-^
Now, onto the author's note nobody wants to read! Yay!
First off:
What the heck. Where did y'all come from?? I honestly never expected this "little" side project I started back in January of 2022 to pop off this well. This is insane! Y'all are insane! I'm insane! (As my friend would jokingly remind me: sanity is a social construct we create to generate a sense of control in our lives.)
I can't believe I've written over 40 oneshots in these past 2.5 years, with some of them being relatively long (oops?). I'm so happy people seem to be enjoying what I write. It's a real treat to see how many people vote and comment.
Second:
I'm speechless. No. Don't ask for a speech. You're not getting one.
Third:
Yes, I have those Star Wars x Hermitcraft headcanons typed up and ready for you gremlins. Enjoy.
Xisuma is a sarcastic Jedi Master.
MUM-80 is a protocol droid (C-3PO lol).
GR1-4N is an astromech droid (R2-D2 lol).
Etho and False have an astromech named T4X-E5. They both fly X-Wings.
Impulse is an impulsive X-Wing pilot.
Gem is a princess who can shoot the eye of a wombat from 30 meters away.
Doc is a bounty hunter turned Rebel.
Zedaph is a Sith Lord and a good mop (according to Xisuma).
Tango is the one dude who gets a lightsaber and immediately points it at his face.
Cub is the exasperated Rebel leader.
Scar is a retired Y-Wing pilot who takes his cat everywhere.
Ren and Doc consistently smuggle goods to the Rebels, including 12-year-olds Impulse and Tango (6 years ago) when they pester Ren into taking them off Tatooine.
xB is an X-Wing pilot who can be found taped to the ceiling every once in a while.
Iskall fixes droids, especially Mumbo when Grian drags him into chaos.
Bdubs is a Y-Wing pilot who's always muted because of how much he screams.
Beef is a Y-Wing pilot and tapes xB to the ceiling.
Keralis gives all the pilots oranges before they go into battle.
Pearl is an X-Wing pilot who's always "upside-down" (but there's no gravity in space, so who knows).
CL-30 (Cleo) is a reformed stormtrooper and Y-Wing pilot who threatens to break people's legs if they blow up.
Jevin is a Y-Wing pilot who gets on Cleo's nerves a LOT.
Joe writes epic ballads for the highly probable chance that they all die.
Stress runs the medical center and bakes cookies.
Wels is a Mandalorian with a bounty on Hels (an Imperial officer).
Hypno helps Beef tape xB to the ceiling and helps Stress bake cookies.
TFC helps xB get down from the ceiling after a solid 10 minutes of cackling.
Do with this information what you will (and please tag me; I'd love to see/read).
Ciao for now! Make sure you say 'hi' in the comments!
Jade
YOU ARE READING
Oneshots! (Mostly Hermitcraft)
FanfictionHello, and welcome to my oneshots book! I write Hermitcraft fanfiction, with a side of shenanigans from Hermittpad and (recently) Empires. Started in early 2022 -- there are sooooo many cringe ones in the beginning... lol Anywho, the content here is...