Unplanned

Thirty Nine

Demi

Fuck.

"Demi?" I jumped at the pounding on the bathroom door.

"J-Just a second" I scrambled to grab the pregnancy test off the counter. I threw it in the trash and then wiped my cheeks.

"What the fuck you doing in there?" his pounding on the door did nothing to control my anxiety. "Why's the fucking door locked?" my heart rapidly thumped against my chest as he tried and failed multiple times to open the door. "Demi, open the fucking door now or I swear to god" my hands violently shook as I hesitantly reached for the door handle. "Demi?" he was speaking through gritted teeth. I eventually found the courage to open the door. "What the fuck, Demi?" I was pushed against the wall, tears blurring my vision as I held my hands up to my mouth. "What you hiding in here, huh?" I shook my head as he stepped up to me. "WHAT ARE YOU HIDING FROM ME?" I jumped, a light squeal slipped from my lips as his fist collided with the wall. I watched, not finding any courage to speak as he rummaged around the bathroom. I felt physically nauseous as his eyes landed on the trash can. My heart sunk into my stomach as he ripped everything out. The moment he grabbed the pregnancy test, everything seemed to go in slow motion. It took him so long to respond. I was too terrified to even breathe. "What is this?"

"A-A pregnancy test."

"Are you telling me that your fucking ass got pregnant?" I bit down on my lip as my chin quivered. "This some sick joke?" I shook my head. "What's with the fucking tears? You fucked up. This is all on you. Get rid of the fucking thing."

"Jace..."

"Either you get rid of it or I will. I ain't having a fucking kid" he threw the pregnancy test across the bathroom, punched the wall a final time and then stormed from the room. I sunk to the floor, sobbing into my hands. I sat there until I heard Riley's soft cries. I quickly darted off the floor, unsure whether or not Jace was still around. I don't want him hurting her.

"Hi Jellybean" my voice shook slightly as I lifted her from the crib. "Did you sleep good?" I lightly ran my fingers through her soft curls, pressing a kiss to her temple.

"O Mama" a tiny smile spread across my face as she pressed her hand to my tear stained cheeks.

"I'm so sorry, Riley" she cuddled her face into my neck and then adjusted herself in my arms so she could wrap her chubby little arms around me. "I love you so much, Baby Girl. I'm so sorry" I took a seat on her rocking chair, keeping her cuddled into me as I sobbed. Even just the thought of the baby in my belly, made me feel physically sick. I can't have this baby. I really don't want this baby and that hurts me more than any beating I could ever get from Jace.

I quickly found myself stood outside the 'Women's Health Clinic.' I had the hood of my sweater over my head and I kept my head down as I walked towards the main entrance. I don't need to get caught here. I gave the lady at the desk my name and then took a seat in the waiting area, keeping my eyes down on my hands as I nervously played with my fingers.

"Demetria?" I was greeted by a middle-aged woman who gave me a light smile. I followed her into one of the clinic rooms and took a seat, continuing to nervously play with my fingers. "I'm Ella. What is it that's brought you to us today?" I swallowed down the lump in my throat before I spoke.

"I-I'm pregnant and I don't wanna be."

"Do you know how many weeks you are, Sweetheart?"

"No, I-I only found out a-a few hours ago" I quickly wiped the fallen tear from my cheek.

"When was your last period?"

"The beginning of October, I-I don't remember the exact date" she grabbed the box of tissues and passed them to me.

"Is this your first pregnancy?"

"No, I-I have a 14 month old" she nodded. "I-I'm not a whore or-or anything. I don't..."

"I'm not judging you, Honey" she flashed me a light smile. "I'll need to send you for an ultrasound, if that's okay? We just need to make sure that the pregnancy is in the correct place. Have you had any pain at all?"

"No, I-I just realised I'd missed my period and-and that's why I took the test. I don't-I don't wanna see the baby or anything" she shook her head as she reached to rub my arm.

"You won't have to see anything, I promise."

I kept my eyes closed once I was taken down for the ultrasound. I don't want to see the baby. I don't want to risk falling in love with it. I need to do this. I can't have this baby. I can't have something that ties me to Jace. Once they found out that the baby was in the correct place, I was taken back to the clinic room and given two pills to take.

"You'll experience some heavy bleeding and cramping. It may feel a little like a period" I numbly nodded as I stared at the pill sat on the table in front of me. "The bleeding should only last for a week or two and after a couple of days, it shouldn't be too heavy" she continued to talk about different risks as I continued to stare at the pills. Am I really about to do this? Am I really about to abort my baby?

I'd left Riley with Dallas so once I'd finished up and managed to make myself look less of a mess, I headed to pick her up. I managed to escape pretty quickly and I headed back to my far too quiet apartment. Jace isn't here. I curled up on the couch with Riley, pulling my phone from my pocket to tap out a message. I could already feel my stomach beginning to cramp and that just made my heart break more. I mentally and physically could not have had his baby but that doesn't mean it doesn't completely break my fucking heart.

To Jace: It's done.

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