Arke High

Chapter 83 Part 3

Clarke P.O.V
Sitting up, I looked at my mother. She stood cautiously in the doorway of my room. "Can I come in?" I nodded in response. She walked towards me and sat on the edge of the bed."Camilo told me what happened."
I felt a lump grow in my throat as I sniffed. My mother pulled me into a hug, letting me cry into her shoulder. She held my head as I sobbed.
"It'll be okay," she whispered though I knew it wouldn't. Everybody alway said it was going to be okay, but it never was.
"Please don't say I told you so," I cried.
She petted my hair."I won't honey, don't worry."
Squeezing my eyes shut I painfully stated,"It hurts so much."
"I know sweetie," she paused as if considering what to at next. Finally she spoke and said,"The pain will fade." My breath hitched, as I realized what she was saying. If the pain would fade that meant that so would my feelings for Bellamy would and I didn't want that. Even after what happened, I still loved Bellamy and I didn't want to stop loving him. I couldn't stop loving him; no matter how much I wanted the pain to fade it wouldn't. It wouldn't fade now, and it wouldn't fade in a thousand years. My pain just as my love would never, ever fade.
Quietly my mother asked,"Do you remember when your father died?"
I pulled away and nodded, as I wiped my tears. Of course I remembered, how could I forget?
"I needed to get away, to leave."She told me."So we left. Maybe that's what you need, to get away." Leave? Get away? I have been back home for less than a year, and leaving didn't seem like a good choice. I had been planning to spend a year at Phoenix University, which was in the next town over, and then transfer to a different university, in order to stay for a little while longer at home. My mother continued to speak," You only have a couple months left, and if you choose to spend those months here, you can go to a university far from here once you graduate," she explained."I would have to stay here, because if the promotion I recently received at the hospital, but I'd visit you any time you want."
As I considered a little more, the idea of going far far away from here began to seem more appealing. If I stayed here I would see much more of Bellamy, which would hurt me even more, rather than if I left because I assumed Bellamy would stay in Arke until Octavia graduated.
I chewed lip in thought,"I'll think about it."
My mom gave me a weak smile,"Okay sweetie." She wiped a stray tear from my cheek.
A thought popped into my mind."Mom?"
She raised her eyes to mine, sympathy was held in them."Yes honey?"
I pursed my lips before responding,"Is there another reason you didn't approve of Bellamy?"
My mother froze, dropping her hands on her lap. Slowly she answered," Yes there is."
My gaze showed curiosity."What was the reason?"
"Wait here," she told me. My mom then went towards the door. Moments later she reappeared with a certain keepsake box and key in her hands. She sat down next to me, opening the box and emptying it of its contents. I pretended to not have seen them before, grabbing each item and staring at them for a good while.
My mom breathed a sigh."The woman in the picture is Krista Rane, the man is Bastian Blake." Blake there was that name. I nodded as she continued,
" Krista Rane is great grandmother." My eyebrows shot up to my hairline. I was related to her? That would explain why my mother had this box, which had clearly belonged to Krista. That would also explain why her name sounded familiar, I must have heard it when I was around someone in my family. My mother pushed on."Krista married your great grandpa Will Wallace, after what was an all out tragedy for Krista." My mother must be speaking of Bastian's death. "Together Will, and Krista had two children; Sarah- your grandmother, and Dante- your great uncle."
I scrunched my eyebrows together,"Then why don't you talk about her?"
Once more my mother sighed," Krista did not have the best life. Sometimes it is better to leave the past in the past." My mother took a picture of Bastian and Krista from the bed, and held it I front of us." Both Bastian and Krista were very young when they first met. Bastian had been eighteen, Krista had been seventeen." Those were the same ages Bellamy and I were, when we officially met."Besides there young age, they did in fact fall in love. Though it was a young love, it wasn't one which could be easily broken or destroyed, it was strong." My mother breathed in and out through her nose deeply."Bastian, well he was poor, and Krista's mother disliked him for it." She then smiled," but they didn't care about what her mother had to say about their relationship. They continued with their relationship, and from what I was told they had been absolutely happy during the time they had been together. Nothing," she punctuated the word," nothing could come between them."
I interrupted her," Why did you disapprove of Bellamy then?"
"Bastian Blake is Bellamy's great great uncle," she responded. They were related then. "They have the same Blake blood in them, which only leads to heart break."
Heartbreak? Bastian and Krista loved each other, and though their story ended a terrible tragedy, it hadn't been Bastian that had caused the tragedy. My mother noticed the confusion which had crossed my facial features. She then began to tell me the part of the story I already knew; Bastian proposed to Krista, they were happily enhanced and ready to get married, Bastian had been violently killed.
"Okay, and then what happened?" I questioned.
"Krista- she was never the same again," she told me." Krista shut herself away, she never made contact with anyone. Bastian's siblings tried countless times to reach out to her, but she couldn't even glance at them without thinking of Bastian." I imagined what it would be like if I could not be able to face Octavia, because I pictured Bellamy. I shook away the thought, hoping that she wouldn't remind me of him." When Krista was married off to Will, she married him without love. She was ever truly happy. Even the birth of her children were not enough to cure her crushed soul." If her children's birth couldn't make her fully happy then she must have been in an immense amount of torture, without Bastian."She loved her children as much as any mother would, but she wasn't completely happy. In reality she had died along with Bastian. Her heart along with her soul were already gone, and they weren't going to return. On the outside, to everyone who didn't really no her she seemed alive, but on the inside she was dead, she was sorrow filled and only wanted to be reunited with her love." I took in this information, realizing thy right now that's exactly how I felt. I didn't feel that spark of life inside me, and I wanted the pain which filled me to just disappear and be gone. My mother continued to talk,"Bellamy, he is alike to Bastian in various ways." I tilted my head to the side in question."Besides the physical aspects- the freckles, olive tone skin, brown curly hair, the brown eyes- they're personalities are close to identical."
I raised an eyebrow."How so?"
She laughed a bit."Bastian was stubborn, rebellious, overprotective, possessive, serious when needed, and he teased Krista endlessly." That sounded like Bellamy to me." It wasn't just the personality that Bellamy has in common with Bastian. It was also the way Bellamy looks at you, and the way, according to Krista's journal, Bastian looked at her." Wait, there was a journal?"Bastian looked at Krista as if she was a refreshing glass of water and he was a man in the desert without having had water in the longest time, or as if he was dying of lack of breath and she was the oxygen he so desperately needed to live." I knew Bastian had truly loved Krista, but now it seemed as of he had loved her a lot more than I had previously thought. My mother continued,"That's how Bellamy looks at you. He looks at you as if you had stolen the moon, and he didn't care one bit because you were with him. When he looked at you, anyone could physically see all the emotion he held for you in his eyes, and that emotion was enough to take anyone's breath away and surprise them so much that they fell to the ground. It wasn't just how he looked at you, but also how you looked at him. When you looked at him, what would be seemingly normal glances at someone were powerful love filled gazes that would scare anyone. The love you showed for him scared me, the love he showed for you terrified me to such an extreme extant. I was afraid that this love story would end terribly just like Krista's and that you would end up just like she did. That is why I didn't want you and Bellamy together. I knew that you could possibly end up with a broken heart that you'd never be able to fix."
At least now I knew her reasons for not wanting me and Bellamy together, not that it mattered more considering that he- I breathed in. Considering that he and I were, we were not together anymore. Tear swelled up in my eyes once more. I blinked rapidly looking away from my mother.
I sniffled."Um-" I swallowed a sob, then continued,"okay. Um can I get some rest? I'm a little tired."
My mother put her hand on my shoulder, giving it a slight squeeze."Okay honey." I felt her stand from the bed. She gave me a kiss on the cheek."Good night." Once I heard the door shut, I curled up and my tears began to flow like a tsunami. I switched on the light and took a picture out of my drawer. The picture was of Bellamy smiling his classic lopsided smile. I don't know how long I stared at his picture before my eyes began to droop. I hugged the picture to my chest letting one final tear escape from my eye, leaving a trail on my cheek. I pressed my lips to the picture before turning off the light. I set down his picture, maybe I would get some sleep tonight.
A/N Bob Morley lost :'( I spent three hours voting for him and he lost. I hope you liked the chapter, guess what? This is the 100th part of the story. *wiggle brow wiggle brow* :) Can anyone guess what song that last sentence came from? It's not exactly word for word, but its close.