Catch Me | Jin x Reader

Ch 7 | 100 Feet

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This chapter contains and/or mentions :
Violence/ blood/ self harm/ depression/ suicide

Please read at your own risk

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Y/N's POV:

"You were being drugged this whole time?!" you exclaim, pushing Jin away to stand to your feet. "Are you fucking kidding me? You could've been awake?"

"Wait, why are you mad at Jin?" Sena asks.

"I'm just mad in general!" you fume, unsure of what to do with all your hurt and anger. "I've experienced hell these past two months but I swallowed it back, believing that Jin was just doing what he needed to do in order to survive. I was okay with him being asleep if that's what his body needed."

Hot tears brim in your eyes as you begin to see red. "But I've been suffering for no reason?" Your voice cracks and your breathing is starting to become uneven as a panic attack begins to seep into your chest. All you've allowed yourself to feel the last eight weeks was fear, because that's the only emotion you could afford to survive, and now all the anger you'd hidden deep inside is resurfacing all at once.

You glance over at the one way window to see your hideous reflection. There's multiple cuts scattered across your face and your black eye is still throbbing. Your lips are still busted and it hurts to breathe in too deeply from all the cracked ribs. You're not even granted the luxury of having decent hair and skin as the other inmates stole all your toiletries, leaving you with only a crappy bar of soap to wash everything with.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" you yell to your reflection, allowing the tears to run down your face. "I'm going to kill her!"

"[Y/N], please calm d-"

"Don't fucking tell me to calm down!" you shriek, grabbing a chair and hurling it at the window, shattering the glass everywhere. "Do you know what I've lost?! For NO reason?!"

"[Y/N]," Jin pleads, trying to inch closer to you.

"Did you know they burnt my house down?" you laugh as more tears fall from your eyes, feeling yourself going insane. You no longer have control of your emotions. All you feel is pain and rage and hatred. "They burnt every memory I had of my dead parents. And for what? For an idol whose fans and bandmates terrorized me?"

"[Y/N]," Sena says cautiously as she reaches back for her taser. "I need you to breathe. Ana was able to save a few albums."

"Oh that solves everything then," you say sarcastically. "You know, I was going to kill myself tomorrow."

Everyone in the room tenses as they take in your words.

"Yeah," you chuckle, walking towards the shattered window. "I was going to lose tomorrow and then end it all. I know what it's like for foreigners in there."

"[Y/N] can we please talk?" Jin asks nervously. You turn around to see tears streaming down his face.

"Why are you crying?" you snort. "You got to sleep through it all. You were just fine."

"I'm not fine if you're not fine," he says shakily.

"You don't even know me," you scoff, placing your hands on your hips. "My well-being doesn't mean shit to you or anyone else in this stupid fucking world."

You're spiraling and you can't help it. This panic attack is different from the others. It's not stealing your breath like usual, it's just igniting an irrational flame deep inside of you. Anger is coursing through your veins like a drug that you can't push out.