Until Then...

Chapter - 56

Odd one out.

It's the feeling every single one of us get, some more so than others but eventually, at some point in our lives, we all stop in our tracks and wonder, where do we fit in the grand scheme of things? Physically, mentally, and emotionally, there is always something that make us feel that we are different from others. We often forget even when all of us are human beings made of same flesh and bones, we are very different beings, made up of different unique combinations. What make us feel odd are the things that define us. However, having that knowledge doesn't make us braver or stronger.

We are still our insecure self, always wondering why we are different. Questioning where we belong, who do we become and what's our purpose. Staring up at the night sky with all the stars billions of light years away from the earth, we get philosophical and mesmerize in the shimmering lights from blazing balls of fire as if they hold meaning to life. As if they would answer our questions. As if this makes us wise. But when we close our eyes and the morning come, the wisdom fades and we are left with nothing but empty remnants that makes us yearn for more. A whole lot more.

Luther pulled his cap down, hiding more than half of his face under the shadow of the cap as he stood in front of the school gate. He had lost track of how much time had passed since he was standing there on the curb under the glaring mid-day sun. Yet he remained in his spot and stood waiting for the bell to ring to announce the end of school day. Even when he tried to be inconspicuous, hiding his blonde hair and Caucasian blue eyes with the cap, he stood out like a sore thumb among the parents and the likes waiting for their children outside the school gate. He wondered whether he made a mistake and invited danger by coming to Zi Qian's school or not, but he couldn't just leave Zi Qian without a proper face to face goodbye. She deserved better, he deserved better. Both of them deserved better.

It was a teenage love, the first love that was cursed to fail and never meant to come true. But that didn't mean it wasn't real. He stared at rows of students starting to come out of the gate after the loud rang of the bell and couldn't help but wished the bell didn't ring this fast. But there was nothing he could do; it was the end of school day. Like there was nothing he could do to go against his brother. There was nothing he as a weak, powerless not-even-an-official gangster do in a foreign land. He could drag Zi Qian and run. He could follow Romeo and Juliet's story and put romance before practicality. He could deny reality and acted like he had everything under control but unfortunately, he wasn't raised to be delusional with heads in the clouds. Even when he felt as if his heart was torn and cried like a baby on that streetside, he couldn't make any rash decision. This wasn't fairytales. Things weren't going to come true just because he wished on imaginary fairy godmother.

He sniffled his nose and returned his attention back to the endless streams of high schoolers coming out of the school. "Luther?" he heard his named from behind in that moment and immediately turn around in haste, only to find the one he had been waiting for standing there with her face lit up by brightest smile he had ever witnessed in his life. "Zi Qian...I..." before he could start, she threw herself at him with her arms wrapped tight around his waist and face buried deep in his chest. "...Where have you been? ...Do you have any idea how much I missed you?" her voice and sobs were soon muffled by his hoodie as he stood there speechless. Other people gave them curious eyes and walked around them as if they were radioactive. Luther gave her a bear hug and breathed in her warm scent that somehow made the pain in his chest worse. "I am sorry. I missed you too. So...so much. Let's go have a coffee. Not here. Please?"

He could still feel Zi Qian's sobs vibrating into his chest but making a scene right in front of her school would be unwise. He checked the surrounding quickly to make sure there weren't any unwanted eyes on them before pulling his koala girlfriend off him for a few seconds. Her eyes were red and puffy, and she sobbed as if a child deprived of candy. He smiled warmly at her pouty face and helped wipe the big fat tears hanging in her eyelashes with his sleeves. "...Please. You are ruining your pretty face. Come on. Let's go have some cakes and coffee. Hmm?" After a few more minutes of coaxing, she finally nodded her head, making the ponytail bounced. "That's my girl. Come on." He chuckled brightly when she interlocked her fingers with his and gripped tight. The two started to walk away, hand in hand, just as though this wasn't the last time they could smile this bright, under the sun, in each other's embrace.