Until Then...

Chapter - 25

When Mo woke up, he was covered in sweat and felt all greasy. The room was dark. Through the glass window cross the room, he could see the night sky, with thousand of stars studded across its canvas. He wiped his face with one free hand and lie on his back, facing the white ceiling with a sigh. It had been 3 days since he was locked inside this room, going through the process of being burn alive over and over again.

The first day was the worst. It wasn't because he craved the drugs. His body which was permeated with cocktails of drugs every day was hungry for comfort. Every nerves felt like they were on fire and the whole process went on till the night came and the doctors gave him sedation to help him sleep. He held back the frustrated cries till his lips broke and he was suffocated on his own. And after two days, the pain became less and less. He couldn't figure out whether it was because pain was actually lessened or he got used to it but what did it matter?

He pushed himself up and lean against the pillow, gazing at the dark sky outside. He hadn't seen that He Tian since the ambulance took them away. He wasn't worry about his wellbeing because the doctor informed him that his surgery was successful and he strongly insisted on moving next to his room. His brown eyes shifted toward the white wall that separate the two of them. What did he want to do with him?

It was true he saved his life but things wouldn't come to that if he wasn't drag him into their shitty power struggles in the first place. He was the victim caught in crossfire. His eyes stung. These days he felt like he didn't have control over his body. At the drop of a hat, the tears would come falling down. If he didn't meet him from the start...He wouldn't have to go through such painful experiences. He remembered feeling helpless and broken in Shen Li's hand. The lucid moments in between they forced drugs into him, it reminded him of hell. He had to go through all of it because of He Tian.

A tear trickled down his cheek. But that wasn't the worst of it. To this day...the most horrible thing that haunted him was the first night he was raped by that bastard. He unconsciously hugged himself reliving the terror that never seemed to cease. Could he forgive him? Could he move pass like nothing happened between them? Could he just give up the hatred because that bastard saved his life? He closed his eyes because in his heart and head, the answer was clear... He couldn't.

All this stuff about him loving him or liking him or whatever...they could never make up for the wounds he bore inside him. There was a dull pain inside his chest which seemed to grow with each minute. He was disgusted by Shen Li and that shadow would follow him till he died but why did the same act done by that bastard He Tian hurt more? He felt like he was betrayed...that his heart was exploited and crushed before him cruelly. He expected...his eyes widened at his own thought and he clenched a hand over his chest.

What did he expect from him? Did he...want him to like him from the start? No. No. There was no way. No, he wasn't gay. He would never have feeling for another man. No. He pressed his palms onto his eyes and screamed in agony. Why did he have to realize it now? No. He was not going to forgive him. He would not jump into the arms of a man who humiliated him, who hurt him, who tortured him as he pleased. You cannot just say sorry and get over something like that. No. Suddenly he heard his room door clicked.

Flustered, he wiped the tears with back of his hand quickly and straightened himself. The sudden sounds like door knocks or telephone sound still made him jump in scare. He swallowed a handful of saliva down his dry throat and watched as the door opened eerily with his heart thumping hard inside. Who could it be in the middle of the night? The answer was quickly answered by a tall dark haired figure in white T shirt and sweat pants came into view. Although he was still nervous, he sighed in relief.

The guy was just as surprised as him. He stared at Mo with wide eyes as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing. "I...I didn't think you would be awake." He mumbled as he came closer to Mo's bed but when he saw Mo shrunk farther into the bed, he stopped a few feet away from him. He wanted to do nothing other than go and hug him hard and kiss his red hair and that pale face till he felt full but how could he do that when he was scared of his presence?