Can't Shake You

(50) Code Blue&Humbled

Bucky was in a patient's room writing notes when he heard code blue announced over the inner com. He stepped out into the hallway and saw doctors and nurses running to Addie's hospital room.

"Please God no," He said as he watched them use the defibrillator on her. He fell to his knees while crying outside her room as he heard the doctor say we're losing her.

He cried out, "God is this my ultimate karma for destroying her heart?! Is this how she felt when she found out I betrayed her, blamed her for my horrible mistakes, flaunted my affair in her face, got angry with her for trying to move on when I was still with my now late wife, or how she felt when she thought I got her and Yelena pregnant at the same time?!"

He grabbed his chest and placed his other hand on the ground to steady himself because he could physically feels like his heart is about to stop beating at any second.

As tears streamed down his face, he looked up and said, "God how did she survive all that when I can't even survive this?! Addie, I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I get it! I get it all now!" He cried harder then said, "God I know I have no right to ask this of you, but even if she never loves me again please, please let her live. She devastatingly just lost her husband, so living is the least she deserves after all that Yelena and I did to her!"

He crawled to the other side of the hallway while crying his heart out. He sat against the wall, cradled his body while rocking himself. Some of the crew heard and saw his confession. They had never seen him humble and broken before. It made them swallow hard and it broke their hearts a little to see him some devastated.

He didn't hear what was going on around him, but once they brought her back, Steve touched his shoulder and looked at him with empathy because that was the first time they've ever heard him acknowledge his wrongs, have any remorse, apologize and truly mean it.

Steve helped him up, and the crew came over to him and they all did a group hug. Sam said a prayer as they held hands in the hall. Cliff came out to see the moment, when they all said amen. 

"She's back guys..not awake but she is good now." Cliff said as he let them go in.