Can't Shake You

(59) I Don't Deserve You

Addie had the day off from work because it's Valentine's Day and her birthday. Bucky told her that he had to go into work, but he was really off. He took the kids to school and daycare before heading to the hospital where his big surprise was.

Before leaving the house, Bucky decorated their bedroom in balloons while Addie was asleep. He laid out all of her gifts and made her breakfast that he left in the microwave for when she woke up. He left her a romantic note on her nightstand.

"Happy Birthday and Valentine's my gorgeous baby doll. Today is a very special day because it's the day you came into this world so I have surprises for you. Enjoy your gifts and your day at the spa then meet me at the hospital for lunch. See you soon my love! Love you! -B

When Addie woke up, she saw their bedroom she smiled as she shook her head. When she went to reach for her phone she saw his note. She quickly got ready for her spa day and ate her breakfast. Before she left she opened up her gifts. 

Betsey Johnson pink and black purse and wallet set. A pink and black McQueen purse, a pink and black Versace purse. A pink off the shoulder bodycon dress, a black glittery black long sleeve top with matching skirt, a black trench coat Chanel outfit, a black and gold Chanel outfit. Black zip heels, hot pink roses, pink and black chocolate covered strawberries, a pink and heart spa basket and a black and white Chanel outfit which she wore to the spa. 

After her spa appointment she went to meet him for lunch. 

"You look beautiful and refreshed." Bucky said as he greeted her. 

"Thanks..where are we going?" She said 

"You'll see." He said 

They went to the hallway where they both almost died. 

"Buck.." she said when she saw all the decor. 

"Addie, I love you so much it hurts. I don't even know why God gave me a second chance at life, but most of all a second chance with you."He dropped to his knees.

"I kneel not just because I want to spend forever with you. I kneel because I'm humbly at your mercy. You control my whole being. I can't sleep without you. I can't breathe without you. Baby I can't live without you.

I was stupid to throw you away all those years ago because of my own selfish desires. As hard as I tried to convince myself and everyone else that I was better without you, it was lie. I was miserable, angry, jealous, bitter, depressed and lost. When you left me, a part of me broke that day. Nothing I did could aid the agony I was feeling. I realize nothing and no one will ever compare to you. You loved me wholeheartedly and unconditionally, but I took that for granted. I destroyed your heart and I hate myself every day for that.

When you got married I felt like I had nothing else to live for because without you my life is so dark and depressing. Also because I had let my promises and dreams that I made to you slip through my fingers. Truth is I never got over you and I realize I never will. You make me feel complete. You are my other half, my soulmate.

The one God created just for me, I just needed to grow up and learn to love you the way you needed me to. I was told to make things right with you because no matter what my heart belonged only to you. I was just too stupid and immature to see it." Bucky started crying as Addie wiped tears.

"When we almost lost you right here in this very place, I went completely out of my mind. Watching you on the floor and laying in that bed lifeless was the second hardest thing I've ever had to see. The first being your face when I broke your heart.

I prayed so hard to God that He wouldn't let you leave this earth because if he did, my soul would've died with you. Here is where I learned to truly love you selflessly. It's here that I learned what accountability and humility is. It's here that I learned what unconditional love is. It's also here that I learned that losing you forever is my biggest fear."

Bucky choked on a sob as Addie took a breath as more tears streamed down her face.

"I've hurt you and made you cry countless times without a care, but now the only tears I want to make you cry are ones of joy. I want to be the reason you feel safe and smile all the time. I want to be the one to make your heart jump and leave you speechless. Because baby doll that's what you do to me when I hear your name, your voice and when I see you.

I'm ashamed of my past actions, but I'm here on my knees, humbly begging you to let me prove to you and to keep those promises I made to you when we were 13. I told you that I will do whatever you ask of me and I mean that with my whole being. I just have one request and that is for you to bare my last name that has always been rightfully yours. So Addelyn Lindsey Burke, will you make me the happiest man in this galaxy and be my wife?"

"Yes James Buchanan yes!" Addie said. 

He slid the ring on her finger, and kissed her. Their friends and family came out of hiding and congratulated them. After they all left Bucky and Addie went to Le Jardinier to eat.