Burning Desire (Alejandrino Trilogy 1)

52

It's been a happy week. Tanggap na rin kami ni Tamara at wala na akong pag-aalinlangan pa tungkol sa relasyon namin ni Delancy. Sa ngayon, nag-aayos kami ng mga gamit dito sa bahay. Kami lang ni Delancy dahil ang dalawang anak namin ay k-in-idnap na naman ni Jackson at Nessa.

May mga silid dati na hindi namin nagagamit at ang isa roon ay ginawa naming kuwarto ni KD paglaki niya. May dalawa pa kaya ang isa ay ginawa naming tambakan ng mga gamit at ang isa ay silid na kumbaga ay para lamang kay Tatiana.

It was Delancy's idea. Noong una ay nag-alangan ako pero sabi nga niya, bago ang pamilya namin ngayon, pamilya muna namin ni Tatiana ang namalagi dito. She said, it's a sign of respect for my deceased wife. Ang sabi nga ni Delancy, nararapat lang na magkaroon ng parte sa bahay si Tiana dahil kahit ano pa ang dahilan, siya pa rin ang una kong asawa at nirerespeto niya iyon.

Lahat ng pictures namin sa baba ay ililipat namin sa silid na iyon. Nilagay ko muna sa box ang lahat para isahang ia-akyat para hindi na magpabalik-balik pa. Nang makarating ako sa taas, nakatingin si Delancy sa isang picture ni Tatiana. Lumapit ako at tiningnan din iyon. It was her picture from her maternity shoot before na sa Maldives din ginanap. Tatiana was posing and showing her baby bump in her leopard print two-piece bikini. Nakangiti siya rito at maayos ang kaniyang kulay tsokolateng buhok.

Delancy turned her gaze towards me and she's smiling. "Ang ganda niya, love. Habang lumalaki si Tamara, nagiging kamukha niya ang Mommy niya."

Nag-aalangan akong ngumiti. "Really?"

"You sound nervous."

"Sigurado ka ba dito sa room na 'to?"

Tumango siya. "Besides, this is one way to prove to Tamy na hindi ko pinapalitan ang Mom niya."

Tinanggal niya ang lock ng frame para i-transfer sa photo album ang picture na iyon nang may mahulog na papel na nakatupi mula roon. Pinulot niya ito at nang buklatin ay tumambad ang sulat sa amin. Sulat-kamay iyon ni Tatiana, sigurado ako.

Binigay niya ang sulat sa akin. "It has your name written on it. Ikaw dapat ang magbasa."

Inakbayan ko siya at naupo kami sa sahig. Sinimulan kong basahin ang laman ng sulat. Si Delancy ay tahimik lang na nakinig sa akin.

Dear Kasper,

Hey, asawa ko. I don't know why I'm writing this letter to you, I just feel like it. I'll probably be embarrassed to give you this so I'll just hide it where it in a place you will barely touch. By the time you read or found out about this letter, I hope we're married for a long time. I don't know where to start so, here goes nothing.

First of all, I want to say I love you. I don't know how it started, but I've been deeply and madly in love with you, hon. Remember when we were in America? I was a janitress in one of your family's hotel. I used to see you everyday, with different women, of course. I kinda had a crush on you back then, but you're a womanizer, that seriously is a turn off. Fast forward, I never thought I'd get to hang with you, one of my bosses became my friend. Wait, are we friends back then or fuck buddies? Haha, just kidding! But seriously, Kasper, I was an orphan and all my life, I never felt so much care until you came. At first, I thought you were paying me for sex but I remember your words clearly. You said, "Take this money and save it for future purposes. If you want to study, you can ask for my help. Take care of yourself, beautiful." Honey, you made me blush at that moment! Kasper, you were the first person to buy lunch for me and spend your time eating it with me. You're the first person who bought me cake for my birthday, gave me gifts and spent the whole day in my crappy apartment even though you weren't used to that kind of environment. You're the first person to actually make me happy. You can't blame me for falling so deeply  in love to you. Remember when you asked me to marry you? You said your family is pressuring you to settle down and you told me that I'll make a good wife? At that moment, I was willing to do anything for you, but you left. You promised to take care of an important thing, so I waited for you. But weeks, months, and years passed, I never saw you again. That time, I already gave birth to our beautiful daughter, Tamara.

It was hard for me to take care of her. I was all alone. All I could do is spend the money you gave me. I tried to find job, but no one accepted me. I couldn't find any stable jobs because I had too take care of Tamara, so I decided to find you. At first, it was hard, but I found you, didn't I? You know what hurts? Finding out that the man who promised to marry me is actually marrying another woman. And you know what hurts more? Knowing that you love that woman genuinely. Truth hurts and when it slaps you, it slaps hard. I realized one thing, I could never ever be Delancy. I wished happiness for you, but deep inside, I wished I was her. I wanted to take you from her, because you're mine, Kasper. You are mine. You promised to marry me, remember? When I found out she left because of Tamara, I did everything to fill the gap she left in your heart, hoping you'd come back to me.

And remember when you proposed to me at sunset? It was my dream come true. I was the happiest woman in the whole world. I thought it would be pure happiness from here, but oh, I was so wrong. Remember our wedding? I saw it in your eyes, you weren't happy. Did you wish I was her instead? Every time you smile at me, every time you say you love me, I feel guilty and sad. We're those really for me, or are you imagining I was the woman of your life? Now, we're having our second baby. I know you're happy. I can feel it. I'm actually proud of myself, I actually made you happy! That's one of the best things that happened.

To end this disorderly written letter, I want to say, I love you more than anything else. I'm sorry for ruining your relationship with Delancy and thank you. Thank you for choosing me, asawa ko.

Love,
Tatiana Hudson-Alejandrino, your beautiful wife

Tumingin ako kay Delancy pagkatapos kong basahin ang sulat. Nakangiti lang sjya ngunit kita ang kaunting kalungkutan sa mga mata niya. Hinaplos ko ang pisngi niya gamit ang hinlalaki ko.

"You okay?" tanong ko at tumango siya.

"Galit na galit ako sa kaniya dati dahil sinira niya tayo. Ako pala ang unang nanakit sa kaniya."

"Hindi ka na galit ngayon?"

Umiling siya. "Nope. At saka mas naintindihan ko na ang pinanggalingan niya. Masakit din pala ang napagdaanan niya."

"I really am an asshole. Sa akin, hindi ka galit?"

She kissed my cheek. "What's important is that you've changed and everything is fine now.  Hindi ako galit sa'yo, we should forget everything in the past, but let's not forget the lessons it taught us. Let's just move forward."

"Tama ka, nagkamali ka at gan'on din ako. Lahat tayo ay nagkamali kaya dapat na tayong magpatawad at magpatuloy."

Sinapo niya ang pisngi ko at hinalikan ang labi ko. "And let's live a life together, Kasper. You, me and our kids. Let's be happy together."