End of an Era (Book 7)

Make It Official

|Erica's POV|

It's all my fault that I'm in the predicament that I am with Logan. I should've trusted him more. I should've completely opened my heart. We would've been a family right now instead of fucking coparents.

I sat on my bed, crying. All this therapy I'm working on and I have yet to complete the last step. I made it halfway in telling him what happened with me and Caleb, but I haven't had the guts to tell him how I feel about him. I don't want to hurt Logan anymore than I already have. In a way, I don't deserve him.

I decided to get back up and go grab a glass of wine. I didn't expect Logan to still be here and to my shock, he was sitting on the couch. He looked up when he heard my footsteps.

"I thought you would've left," I quietly said.

He shook his head and patted for me to come and sit next to him, which I did.

"We mastered communicating when it comes to Lauren, but not when it comes to just us, Logan and Erica."

"I'm sorry for leaving like that. I didn't trust my thoughts or my words and I panicked."

"It's alright. Talk to me, E. Lay everything out. Whatever you feel, whatever is bothering you, let's move past this once and for all."

This conversation had been a long time coming. Logan working and being on the road worked in my benefit to not confront this.

"I love you, Logan."

"I know you do. I love you, too."

I shook my head.

"I love you as more than just a friend and the father of my child. I'm in love with you, I always have been. For years I fought how I've felt for you and ended up hurting you in the process. Being around you now, I feel this tension; this uncertainty. I'm here in your life, but am I really? You've welcomed me back with open arms, but that was for Lauren's benefit. I get it, I fucked up. I just... I need to know if I'm holding out hope or what. Is there any chance for us?"

He didn't say anything. I guess he was searching for the right words. Who the hell was I to question him? I'm the one that did the damage.

"Let's unpack everything you just said. For one, I've never stopped loving you, Erica. I get why there's tension because we've never established what this is. We've been coparenting because that was the focus.  It's been a year and I'd say we're doing well. Always room for improvement, but so far, so good. There's been flirtation on both sides and I can see how that would throw you off. Neither one of us have addressed how we truly feel, but I love you Erica. I want nothing more than to cut the bullshit and be with you."

"But..."

"There is no but. Erica, you're in my life because I want you here and no, not just because of Lauren. You're not the only one in therapy trying to process things. It's been hard having you back in my life and I don't want to lose you again. I get why you're surprised I welcomed you back with open arms. I'm a forgiving person, what can I say? Some may call me stupid, but I don't give a fuck. I don't live my life for other people and I do what feels right for me. Sometimes that doesn't work in my favor, but I'd rather try and fail then not try at all."

I felt my heart beating out my chest.

"Come here."

I moved closer to him and he held me in his arms.

"I'm so sorry, Logan. I know I've apologized before, but I feel like I'll always apologize for hurting you. I broke your heart. I kept Lauren from you out of my own fears. This is all my fault."