End of an Era (Book 7)

Carry the Load

|Jamie's POV|

I hated arguing with Brandon. I hated being upset. I'm an adult and I should be able to process my emotions, but sometimes I can't. I get so angry and rage takes over me. Trust me, I use to be worse. Pre-kid Jamie was always ready to fight. I'm not perfect, but my kids are my world and knowing how I grew up, I didn't want to expose them to what I witnessed between my parents.

Have Brandon and I ever argued in front of them, absolutely. Yelling, fighting, cursing? Absolutely not. That's what I would see and it's scarred me to this day. I always question whether I'm a good enough wife or mother because of it. Yeah, we've been together for over 20 years, but anything could happen.

After my cry fest in my office with Izzy, I was able to pull myself together and get back to work. I had three back to back classes before I was able to take a break. I finally checked my phone and saw Brandon had texted me.

I apologize. I love you. I'll make this right.

I sighed, but I didn't bother to respond knowing we'd talk once I got home. I know we'd fix this. We always do. I had just set my phone down when I saw it was vibrating, Uncle Paul. My Godfather has been all that I could ever ask for in a parent. I quickly answered and his face filled the screen.

Hey pops.

Hey, princess. How are you?

I'm alright.

You don't sound alright.

You talk to Izzy or something?

No. My gut was just telling me something was off.

How'd you know it was me?

You just told me.

I left an hour early to go and return the motorcycle and pick up my car. I wanted to see if I liked it. Of course I did. I've always loved motorcycles, I just could never bring myself to buy one. Driving cars are dangerous enough. Even being on an airplane gives me anxiety. Why would I want to willingly buy a death trap?

Getting home, I saw Brandon's car was here. I took a deep breath before going into the house. Walking in, it was quiet. I would've expected the kids to be home. Maybe they're in their rooms. Going upstairs, I checked their rooms, nothing. Entering my bedroom, nothing. I showered and changed. Heading back downstairs, I spotted my husband in the living room.

"Hey," I quietly greeted.

"Hey."

As I made my way closer, he stood up. His hands cradled my face as he pulled me into a passionate kiss. I instantly relaxed in his embrace, wrapping my arms around his neck. He pecked my lips a final time before his forehead touched mine.

"I apologize."

"I do, too. I should've just tried talking to you again about how I felt instead of going and test driving the motorcycle."

"You didn't buy it?"

I shrugged and moved out of his hold, sitting on the couch. He sat down, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. I comfortably planted my head on his chest.

"I didn't feel comfortable on it. Hell, I don't even like driving or flying half the time. Since Izzy's accident, I've just been having a harder time sleeping. I just saw her lying there like my parents were in the hospital. Now the kids are driving. Then you came home with the bike and I just thought of every worse case scenario. I saw you just how I saw Izzy, lifeless."

He nodded.

"I'm right here and Izzy is here too."

"I know, I know. It all sounds stupid."