Opposites - Part 2 (Shuri x Reader)

Part 50

"Hey Kiddo

It probably took you a while for you to decide to read this, you're afraid I'm gonna nag you about something or make an uncomfortable joke about my death, but don't worry. I'll do both.

 I can't even imagine how you must be feeling, I bet it's all a little overwhelming at this point, but that's the way life goes - it takes you by surprise without giving a prior notice and makes you mad and sad about everything. But if you think about it really hard, that's the reason why it is so beautiful. You are forced to live every day thinking it could be your last, because you don't want to look back and regret something or feel like you missed out on anything, right? 

Being your father forces me to know that you're not that kind of a person. You overthink every little thing or situation always expecting the bad side of it, and I really tried to change that about you. Make you see the good parts, and be a little more optimistic - like me. But I guess we can't all be that cool... And that's where other people enter your life. 

We are not alone at any point in it. There's always someone who's willing to go through things with us, and make us feel a little better, but we do have the duty of letting them do it. Open a little of ourselves to them, and let them help us. And you have already found your own sidekick. I know, I know...you're just friends. But friends can also do that for you.

Honey, I know it's not been easy for you, it's been a lot actually. I'm sorry if I wasn't the world's greatest dad in the history of fathers, I'm sorry if I didn't let you eat cereal for dinner every day of the week and made you wear embarrassing clothes for school, but I really tried my best to make you safe and happy throughout all the shit we've been through. I'm also really sorry about leaving so soon, and letting you go through this on your own, but there are things we can't control... You know? Take that all in on you please. THERE ARE THINGS WE CAN'T CONTROL. And those are usually the most poetic and beautiful things in our life because what's the point of feeling, if you can only feel what you want? You have to be able to take whatever comes in your way, good or bad. 

You have to be willing to take chances - what if you take that chance, risk your heart, and it crashes into someone who inspires you ...better yet... what if they choose you? Love you the way you always desired to be loved? What if they hold your hand when you're nervous, hug your little shattered pieces back together, bring you tea when you're sick and fill your life with the happiest, sunnier, and most tender kind of happiness? What if they make you grow, encourage you, and teach you that love is supposed to be kind and soft? What if they stay?

You see all of those 'what if's' can turn out to be true or not, but you will never know if you don't take that fucking chance.

There's nothing more in the world I want than to see you happy baby, but for that, you have to be willing to get out of your little bubble of comfort and say 'fuck it, I'm gonna jump off this cliff...' You can land on your feet, or break your legs, either way...you will survive. 

I'm really sorry about not being there to see you grow even more, say a really embarrassing speech at your wedding - maybe you can create a hologram of me - , or offer your kids ice cream when they're mad at you, but I've had the privilege of seeing you as happier as ever a couple of times, and that's one of the things that ease my mind when I think about the day I won't be able to caress you cheeks anymore.

So, please...make your dad a favor and live... Fucking live! For you, for me and for everyone who can't, so on your last day on this Earth, you can look back and smile remembering all the things you've experienced and felt.

I love you more than anything and will always look after you even if you can't see me. I'm so proud of you, and it's been an honor being your dad. Knowing that that person you are is part of me, and that's why I will always, always be with you.

P.s : If I met Elvis up there, I'm gonna talk so much about you.

P.s.s: Stop crying you're disappointing me.

P.s.s.s: You could never disappoint me.