Part 12

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"So you hate me?" she tilted her head a little bit chewing on her inner lip frowning her eyebrows.

I kept quiet as my eyes wandered around hers finding a small amount of discomfort in them.

"Look..." I sighed "I came here to study. I didn't even want to see you in the first place. I'm doing great, and you said we could be friends..." I ran a hand through my hair "Friends don't kiss other friends" I said making her smirk a little.

"C'mon...you know we're never gonna be able to be just friends Y/N" she slowly started to walk toward me making me take a step back.

"Then I guess we won't be in each other live's at all" I shrugged my shoulders.

She let out a sigh letting her shoulders relax and slowly shaking her head "Fine. We can be friends" she said making me frown my eyebrows.

"I don't believe in you" I mumbled.

"Well...I can't do anything to change that..." she chuckled sitting down on a bench next to me "So...How did you two meet?" 

"What?" I turned my head glancing at her extremely confused.

"You and this mystery girl you're with" she tilted her head "You can tell me..."

I stared at her, looking for a small amount of trust, it was weird knowing there were things I didn't tell her, especially about someone else I was in love with. She nodded her head encouraging me to go.

"Man" I whispered looking down and noticing her frowning her eyebrows "It's not a girl... I'm with a guy" 

"What!?" she spat almost chuckling "A man?! You!?"

"Bye" I said clenching up my jaw.

"No no!" she laughed leaning against the desk "I'm sorry. Go on"

"His name is James..." I finally said looking into her eyes "I've met him at a pharmaceutical convention...It was weird 'cause..." I pressed my lips together "He's a man" I laughed noticing she was doing the same thing "But he was the first one after a really long time to make me feel good about myself and everything around me" I shrugged my shoulders.

"And he's a man?" she frowned her nose almost in repulse.

"Yes Shuri!" I gently slapped her knee trying to hold back a smile "He's a really nice guy actually!"

She kept her eyes on me running her tongue over her lips as I waited for some kind of reaction while my fingers nervously rubbed on each other.

"And you have sex with him?" she tilted her head with a smirk.

"You're an idiot!" I said shaking my head at her with a smile on my lips.

"I'm sorry! It's weird!! You having sex with a man!" she shrugged her shoulders raising her eyebrows "But I'll take it... You deserve to be happy" her voice came as a whisper while she sweetly smiled at me.

"I really like him" I said again.

"Hm hm" she mumbled "So you're going to tell him about our kiss?"  she looked up at me through her curls as I felt my stomach twirl around making me bit my lower lip "You're not..." she said reading my eyes.

"I mean...It was a mistake... It won't happen again... And he doesn't need to suffer for something it meant nothing" I quietly said looking down.

"So...that hurts" she chuckled raising her eyebrows "Meant nothing hm?" 

"You know what I mean..." I rolled up my eyes at her "I thought you said we were friends?" I frowned an eyebrow at her.

"I know...But that doesn't mean I like to hear that it meant nothing to you!" she glanced at me "'Cause it did to me"

I kept quiet as my eyes wandered around her face carefully observing her expressions. Of course it had meant something, it would always mean something. It was her. But I wouldn't abdicate a stable relationship with someone who clearly loved me and had never hurt me, for someone who kept doing it for years and years. 

"I don't hate you" I finally said as she lifted her eyes at me "I know I said I did... but I can't hate you" I whispered "You just hurted me a lot" 

"I'm sorry" she mumbled pressing her lips together as her hand gently grabbed mine making me shiver a little "I..." she opened her mouth before closing it again "I'm really sorry" she repeated herself.

"It's okay..." I sighed letting a chuckle out my lips "It was a surprise... I never thought someone would call off a wedding or break the heart of the girl they loved..." I tilted my head with a smirk on my lips.

"Love" She stared into my eyes.

"What?" I gently frowned my eyebrows.

"You said loved..." she shook her head "Love..Present sentence"

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