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Namjoon Part 1

The first time you met Namjoon was by accident. It was a brief encounter, but you still felt something during that split second, something you couldn't quite explain but it felt significant.

It was as if every fiber in your being was telling you to speak to this man, but you were in a hurry and didn't glance back as you continued your path.

The second time you meet Namjoon was on the bus. You had a rough day at school that you didn't even realize he was sneaking glances at you. Your mind was so caught up with your own thoughts that you hadn't paid him any attention.

You vaguely remember feeling someone staring at you, and when you glanced in their direction, his face seemed familiar, but still you didn't speak to him. Instead, you turned your attention back to the window, watching the city streets pass by, consumed entirely by your tangled thoughts.

The third time you meet Namjoon was at a restaurant. You were seated outside the restaurant, enjoying the autumn chill while typing out an essay you had been neglecting. Your procrastination was at an all time high as your fingers danced across the keyboard with stealth.

Namjoon finally musters up the courage to introduce himself to you, momentarily catching you off guard, but his kind features eased the tension from the atmosphere.

His interruption, although hindering you from finishing your essay, was unexpectedly pleasant. The two of you talk for hours, bonding over books, art, and the classes you two are taking, all the while your laptop completely forgotten despite it being in front of you.

From then on, both of you would meet almost daily. Whether it was between classes or grabbing lunch together, you both fit it into your daily routine. Mornings with Namjoon always helped you to start your day right. It was as if his kindness gave you an extra boost to start your day on a good note.

As weeks went on and the more you two spent together, eventually your friend groups started to combine. You'd occasionally meet up with Namjoon with some of his other friends and he'd sometimes accompany you with your friends.

Outings with Namjoon's friends always left you in a fit of laughter. You usually kept a small group of friends, never truly allowing more than a handful of people in at a time. But Namjoon helped to bring that wall down, brick by brick, slowly and reassuring that not everyone was out to hurt you.

A few years pass, and both of you have watched one another go through life's ups and downs. You were always there for him and he was always there for you. He became the person you felt most comfortable around.

It was a unique feeling to have someone you could fully be vulnerable with. Namjoon often provided a safe space in his presence for you to be completely honest with him that you couldn't fathom how you ever experienced true happiness before him.

One day Namjoon asks, "Why do you keep dating guys who treat you badly?"

His question came out of nowhere that you were at a loss for words. "What?"

Namjoon exhales a steady breath. "Why do you keep dating guys who treat you badly?" His tone was even, almost bordering on caution as he spoke.

A long pause passes over the two of you as you gather a response. Finally, you manage to say, "I don't know. It seems that those are the only guys that are attracted to me."

It was a lame attempt at joking, and you throw in a chuckle for good measure, but Namjoon doesn't reciprocate your mood.

Instead, he shakes his head. "No, they're not."

You stare back at him, wondering what he meant.

"I like you." He manages to say, his gaze not meeting yours. He's fidgeting, making you feel nervous and uncertain.

You felt your entire being still, afraid to let the words sink in. Namjoon had become your best friend. He was there for you through some of your hardest times in life that you feared anything more would ruin it. Your mind seems to be buzzing, combing through his words to see whether he might have been joking, but his expression holds no humor, just genuine honesty.

Your brain feels like it's glitching as you take in his appearance. It's not like Namjoon is unattractive or has a terrible personality. In your eyes, he's perfect. The thought is jarring that you hadn't realized you were staring blankly back at him this entire time.

He lets out a nervous chuckle, sensing that what he's said might have made you feel uncomfortable. "Don't worry about it." He tells you. "I just wanted to say it out loud before it was too late."

Awkward silence settles over the both of you as his statement lingers in the air. A series of questions flash through your mind, but none surface.

"I've made things awkward, huh?" Namjoon chuckles after taking in the surprise look on your face.

You shake your head no after a moment. "No, it's just a lot to take in." You say softly.

"I've got bad timing." Namjoon sighs as he clasps his hands together. Neither of you could meet each other's gaze.

"Joon," You begin to say, but Namjoon cuts you off.

"I've got a meeting, I'll see you later, okay?"

You watch, dumbfounded, as Namjoon hurries away. Your words fall dead on your tongue. You weren't sure what you would've said, but it would've been better than nothing.

Later that night, you lay in bed thinking about what you could possibly say to him or how you could face him again. The way you left things was a bit awkward. You didn't know how to feel and entertaining the idea of liking Namjoon more than a friend scared you.

Taking in a deep breath, you realized what you needed to say to him next time you see him.