Trapped in my head

Chapter 30

When he came back to Meredith's room after Bailey had paged him he spotted her on the bed, rocking back and forth very intensively. Bailey and Maggie were standing in front of the room, looking at a tablet. "We got the results." Bailey begun now that Andrew was there too. "She's not infected. She can get out of isolation." She announced happily, making all of them sigh in relief. Turning around he took a look at Meredith. She was still stimming and didn't seem to be able to calm down.

"Can I come inside Mer?" he asked her excited, but his smile quickly vanished as she shook her head. "Give her a few minutes. We pushed her into this so fast, she'll probably need a bit until she's ready to come out again." Maggie said, reassuring him.

"Shouldn't we help her?" he asked concerned, watching her from the side as both Maggie and Bailey had turned around. He got that she was probably embarrassed about it so that he didn't want to stare at her for too long. "Andrew, we literally dragged her into this isolation room and locked her up in there because we had no choice and you know how overwhelming that was for her. We all don't understand what's going on inside of her but I could imagine that if we just take down the foil and pull her out again it will be just as bad as when we put her in there." Maggie explained, looking at him with a smile.

"I'm just happy that she's okay." She added, trying to reassure him that it was normal. "I got a surgery, please tell he I'm giving her three days off, if she needs more you can call me." Bailey said before walking away, leaving Andrew and Maggie alone.

"Andrew I know it's a lot to understand in the beginning but autism is very complicated and complex. It will take a while until you get used to her stimming and everything else. And it will also take you a while to learn and to understand what she needs and that it has nothing to do with you when she wants to be alone sometimes." Maggie continued as she noticed how nervous Andrew was.

It just didn't feel right, leaving her there alone while she wasn't feeling well. "And how long do you think it'll take until she comes out?" he asked quietly, not wanting Meredith to hear him. "I don't know, could be a few minutes, could be a few hours." Maggie said, an apologetical expression on her face.

"Hey, Bailey just told me that Mer tested negative." Alex said as he approached them. "Yep." Maggie said, smiling at him as she took another look at the tablet before passing it to him. "Yeah, everything looks good, the numbers are all normal and there are no antibodies to the virus." He said, a smile creeping onto his face.

Andrew just stood there. Honestly he admired how calm they were even though Meredith was having a hard time right now. But they knew her a lot better than he did yet and he trusted them. "Don't worry man she'll be out in a bit." Alex said to Andrew as he noticed his face. "And I'll see you at home later I have one more patient, then I'm gonna go." He added, directing his speech to Maggie who just nodded.

And as he risked another glance at Meredith he noticed how her movements have gotten less but she still seemed to be a little shaky as she laid down on the bed, her little massage balls in each of her hands. "See she's already calming down." Maggie said, looking at Meredith from the side as well. Andrew just nodded, continuing to observe her. "Maybe I should go, maybe she doesn't even want me to be here. Earlier she asked me if I would be mad if she would want to be alone for a few days. I guess she needs a short break from me." He said, looking down.

"Andrew, please don't do this to yourself. You know that it has nothing to do with you. She's just overwhelmed and- I mean the two of you have been together for two weeks you are still a challenge for her too. I guess it's just a little too much for her at the moment. But I am one hundred percent sure that she'll call you when she's ready, at least in two or three days." Maggie said, laying a hand on his shoulder. "Okay. Please tell her she can always text me." He said, before turning around and walking away. It hurt. It hurt like hell. But there was nothing he could do for her right now.

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About an hour later Meredith was feeling a little better. Of course she was extremely relieved about the fact that she wasn't infected with tuberculosis but still, this whole isolation thing was a lot and she couldn't just walk out of here as if nothing happened. And she was mad at herself for making Andrew feel bad. She had heard his entire conversation with Maggie and she felt extremely guilty for doing this to him. But she just wanted to be left alone for a while. The past two days had just been a lot and she needed some quietness, away from everyone and everything, sadly including Andrew.

She just hoped that if she would be ready that he would accept her apology and don't break up with her. Of course, she had warned him about things like this because she knew herself and she knew how exhausting she could be to a point where she would be annoyed of herself. She didn't entirely understand why he was sad because when she had asked him he had said that it was alright if she would take some days to be alone and all to herself. He had said that he wouldn't be mad and now he was mad and that was more than confusing. Because she refused to believe that he had lied to her. She probably just didn't understand him correctly. She was probably misinterpreting the whole situation once again.

Slowly sitting up she started to pack her things before putting on her jacket and taking a deep breath, counting to five and back before waling out of the room. She was free again. She was healthy and she was free. She could finally go home. "Mags?" she said, approaching Maggie at the nurse station. "Hey!" she exclaimed happily, pulling her into a hug. If she could, Meredith would push her away because she really wasn't in the mood for hugging. But she was mentally and physically too tired to do anything more than necessary. "Can you drive me home?" she asked quietly, avoiding eye contact. She couldn't wait to be able to hide in her room for the rest of the day, not having to look at anyone, talk to anyone or listen to anything but her comfort music. "Yes of course. Alex should be home in a bit too and Amelia is already home I think." She said, starting to walk through the hallway next to her sister. She noticed how closed up she was and that it seemed as if she didn't want to have to interact with anyone a lot right now so that they drove home in silence.

"Do you think Andrew is mad at me?" Meredith asked monotony, half asleep on the passenger's seat. It took the last of her energy to start that conversation but she just needed the advice of a neurotypical person because Maggie usually was really good at interpreting the "other world", as she called it, for her. Because Meredith was living in her own world and sometimes didn't understand the "other world" so that Maggie, Amelia and Alex usually helped her with that.

"No he's not. He's just not used to- you." Maggie finished her sentence, knowing that to any other person that would have sounded offensive. But with Meredith it was easier to be direct. "So I can call him tomorrow?" Meredith asked, looking out of the window. "Yes, I think he'd like to hear from you." She encouraged her, hoping it would help her a little.

"Thanks." Meredith just whispered, closing her eyes for a moment. "No problem, go to sleep, I'll wake you when we're home." Maggie said and soon, the car was filled with Meredith's soft snores.

Hey! So it would be great if you all could tell me what you think about this story and maybe comment some suggestions. Love you all <3