Trapped in my head

Chapter 55

"You okay?" Andrew asked, still slightly out of breath. It was now half past ten in the night and they were laying in bed, naked. Meredith had indeed finished what she had started but remembering how she had been feeling the first time they had had sex he wanted to make sure that she was feeling alright. "Yeah." She said, turning her head so that he could see the smile on her face.

Immediately, relief washed over him as he bent over to press a kiss onto her forehead, seeing as she blushed. "What are you blushing over huh?" he asked, chuckling at her red cheeks.

"I just- remembered what I had been thinking about in the car this morning." She whispered, turning around completely but moving her gaze down. She couldn't think really well while trying to hold eye contact. "Did you know that- I had a crush on you, even before that day on the elevator?" she begun, looking up for a few seconds to get a glimpse of his reaction. "I didn't." he replied quietly, smiling slightly while stroking her hair.

"Actually I had a crush on you since the day you started working as an intern." She admitted, trying to hide her smile. "Really?" he asked a little surprised. He hadn't expected that. "Mhm." She nodded. "I- secretly watched you sometimes. I just-" she begun, blushing even harder. "I- really liked looking at you." She whispered a little embarrassed all of the sudden.

"That's cute." He said, grinning brightly. "That's so cute Mer." He repeated, leaning down to gently kiss her. "You must have been freaking out internally in the elevator huh?" he teased, making her look up and raise a brow. "I- I maybe was." She admitted, cuddling herself into his arms. "And it didn't help that I was sick. I was so embarrassed." She continued, her voice slowly becoming sleepy. "So, all that time, why didn't you just go out with me? I mean- I asked you out like- a hundred times." He asked, stroking her stomach carefully.

"I was scared. I didn't know what would happen. It took me some time to get ready to meet this challenge." She explained, closing her eyes tiredly. "But I am so glad that I did go out with you in the end." She mumbled groggily. "Yeah?" he asked, still smiling. "Mhm." She nodded. "You're really handsome." She said, making him chuckle. She was completely worn out and it was just adorable. "Good night Mer." He said, pulling her closer to make sure she felt comfortable. She didn't reply. She was already fast asleep.

__________

The next morning Andrew woke up to an empty bed. Stretching his arms he sat up, looking around the room for a sign of Meredith. "Mer?" he asked, assuming that she might be in the bathroom. But he didn't get a response. Getting up he walked down the stairs of the house, trying to be as quiet as possible to not wake the others. He found Meredith in the kitchen, eating a bowl of cereal, and watching friends on her phone. "Hey." He said, standing behind her and leaning down to kiss her head. "Hey." She said, her mouth full of cereal. "I waited until 8.30 but no one came so I had to start eating." She justified herself, looking up at him after pausing the episode.

"That's okay, don't worry." He said, smiling at her reassuringly. "Did you sleep okay?" he asked, knowing that it hadn't been easy for her to sleep in the foreign bed without her own sheets and pillows. "Yeah." She replied. "That's good. Thanks again for that surprise. I really enjoyed it." He whispered, observing her. She was sitting on one of her legs while her other one she had pulled up to her chest. He loved how she could never sit on a chair the normal way. Literally never. She always sat on at least one of her legs.

"Me too." She grinned, continuing to eat her cereal. "I haven't had a panic attack or meltdown in six days how great is that." She said, not sure what else to say. "That's really great Mer. I'm so happy that this break is doing you so good." He said, stroking her cheek softly. "Do you miss the OR?" he asked, observing her from the side, not being able to hide his smile. He was so in love.

"I do. But it's okay. Actually Dr. Wyatt thought about working out a timetable with me. I could go back to doing surgeries after my break but- with a limit." She explained. "You like timetables huh?" he asked with a smirk. "I do." Meredith replied, looking up at him. And as he was looking into her eyes he caught her silently counting to five before moving her gaze away from his again. "You're too adorable." He said, getting up and kissing her head before getting himself a bowl as well.

"Have you had your warm milk yet?" he asked, not seeing a cup nearby. "No. I forgot my mug." Meredith said, her good mood immediately vanishing. "You should still drink something Mer." He said, placing a cup from the cupboard in front of her that was similar to hers at home. "But not from that cup." She said, looking at it a little bit disgusted.

"You're also eating from the dishes here." He said, pointing at her bowl. "Yeah but I cleaned them like five times before. I didn't even think about this. I should have. But- it's disgusting. Because my mind can't shut up over how many people probably ate and drank from these dishes before me." She said, eyeing the cup in front of her.

Andrew sighed. "Would it help if we put everything into the dishwasher before using it?" he asked. Meredith was complicated which could be exhausting sometimes but he knew how hard all of this was for her. "No." she replied, shaking her head. "I know they're clean from the outside." She whispered, fidgeting with the spoon in her hand. Her face showed no kind of emotion like usually but he knew that she was upset and probably frustrated with herself.

He sat down next to her, looking at her and smiling slightly. "You're not easy to deal with at all." He said, chuckling, making her giggle as well. "I told you before. Now it's too late for you to run." She said but he could see that by joking around he couldn't light her mood. "Solution?" he asked. "Solution is I'm drinking out of this bowl." She said, getting up, cleaning the bowl and purring some milk into it before putting it into the microwave. "This is my bowl now." She said, sitting down and taking a sip. But since this bowl was way too big for her lips a bit of the milk ran down her face and onto her shirt, making him chuckle. She just glared at him, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Mer, hey. Don't cry." He said, making her stand up and sit on his lap, holding her close to his chest. "It's okay." He said, kissing her head gently. "It's okay." He repeated, trying to calm her down again as she sniffled quietly. "I hate not being at home." She whispered. "I know." He soothed her, rubbing her back comfortingly. "And this doesn't count as a panic attack or a meltdown my score is still six days." She added, making him chuckle. "It doesn't you're just a little frustrated and that's totally fine." he reassured her. "Thank you." She whispered, closing her eyes, breathing in his scent. "Nothing to thank for." He replied, placing his chin on the top of her head. 

Leave suggestions =)