Trapped in my head

Chapter 24

They woke up the next morning to the alarm going up way too early for their liking. Meredith just turned around, burying herself further into his chest, trying to block out the noise as Andrew turned off the alarm. He tried to move as little as possible to not disturb her while she was slowly waking up. He didn't know her that well yet and he didn't knew about any of her morning rituals and routine so that he wanted to give her as much time and space as she would need. "Morning Mer." He whispered, placing a loving kiss on her forehead. She just groaned tiredly. She obviously wasn't a morning person what made him chuckle immediately. "Morning." She mumbled sighing and falling silent again. "Don't fall asleep again Mer, we need to get up for work." He said, rubbing her back soothingly. "Mhmno." She gave back, making him smile even brighter. "I have my solo surgery today so I'm afraid I'll have to get up now." He told her, making her finally look up at him. He couldn't help but smile even more as he saw how she was looking at him. Her lips curling up, her eyes sparkling and twinkling at him as small wrinkles appeared around her cheeks and eyes.

"You have your first solo surgery today." She said, smiling proudly. "I know and that's why we're gonna get up now." He said, quickly pecking her lips before standing up, taking off his shirt and starting to change without thinking too much about it. As he suddenly realized that Meredith had never seen him topless before he slowly turned around, wanting to get a glimpse of her reaction. And as he noticed her face he couldn't help but shake his head while starting to laugh. Her eyes were wide open as well as her mouth as she tried to hide her bright red cheeks under the blanket. She might didn't even know it but she was definitely attracted to him. "You like what you're seeing?" he teased as he noticed how she was staring at his six pack. "I-I don't kn-know what y-your talking ab-bout." She stuttered, her cheeks getting even redder the more time passed.

"Sure." He said, continuing to change into a casual outfit as Meredith slowly sat up as well, unstrapping the provisional ankle weights. "Thanks again for the bottles. They actually helped." She said softly, smiling up at him. "Nothing to thank for." He said, walking over to her and pulling her into a long kiss. She was still very shy when they were kissing and let him lead but that was just what made everything so magical. That she seemed so insecure and careful was what made it so- young and fresh- so new and unknown.

"What would you like for breakfast? Do you like pancakes? Scrambled eggs? Or- oh you said you like toast with bacon right?" he said arranging the sheets and pillows on the bed. "Yeah toast with bacon would be great. And a cup of warm milk." She smiled timidly, rubbing her eyes sleepily.

_________

Twenty minutes later they were sitting at the kitchen table. Meredith was enjoying her toast with bacon and a cup of warm milk while Andrew had made himself some scrambled eggs with a little bit of bacon as well. He couldn't help but smile at the fact that she was drinking warm milk. "It tastes really good." Meredith said quietly, blushing at she did so. She had no idea why but the whole situation just made her- uncomfortable, at the same time embarrassed but somehow also homy and comfy. Her heart was beating as if she was on a roller coaster and her stomach was feeling a little weird as well. She had no clue what was making her feel that way but she already felt an anxiety attack coming. In no time she would start breathing faster, she would get dizzy, her fingers would start to tingle and she would cry. She would also start to feel extremely nauseous and in the worst case she would even throw up.

Just the thought of a possible anxiety attack made her feel even more anxious. Slowly she laid down the toast, staring straight ahead while trying to calm down her thoughts. As she noticed how badly her hands were shaking she slid them under her legs, sitting on them to keep them still. She felt hot tears burning in her eyes, threatening to soon spill over and roll down her cheeks were they would be visible for Andrew. Andrew who had been absolutely amazing, trying and doing everything to make sure she was comfortable and would enjoy her time over at his place. So it wasn't fair that she was having an anxiety attack right now.

She blinked a few times, trying to make those stupid tears disappear. Last night had been amazing. They had seen the firework together, they had had this moment- this moment full of sexual tension and then she had fallen asleep on his lap, in his living room before they had spent the night together in his bed while she had worn the provisional ankle weights he had come up with just for her. Everything had been wonderful and that was what she was trying to focus on to make her anxiety disappear.

Suddenly she felt a hand on her back and as she looked up she noticed that Andrew wasn't sitting opposite her anymore but was now sitting on the chair next to her, a worried expression on his face. She hadn't even realized that he had gotten up and walked over to her. "You okay?" he asked, carefully putting a strand of hair behind her ear and stroking her cheek. She just nodded, rubbing her eyes and pulling her knees up to her chest. "I'm s-sorry." She whispered. She was definitely having an anxiety attack but it was a silent one. Her breathing seemed to be normal but her chest felt extremely tight, her fingers tingled and she was dizzy and nauseous.

"No need to be sorry. Do you want to lay down for a bit?" he asked, noticing how shaken up she seemed to be and almost suspecting that it was her anxiety that was bothering her right now. "Your solo surgery." She said, raising one of her trembling hands to chew on the nail of her thumb, trying to distract herself. "Starts at 2pm, we've got plenty of time. Also we still have an hour before we have to go I set the alarm early because I didn't know how much time we'd need. So you can lay down for a bit. Maybe you'll feel a little better afterwards." He said, reassuring her by smiling encouragingly at her.

"Okay." She gave back, letting him lead her over to the couch were she laid down and he covered her with a blanket, tucking her in and kneeling down in front of her. He started to carefully stroke her hair, placing a kiss on her forehead to let her know that he was there. Only now he noticed that not just her hands but her whole body was trembling. It happened in individual spurts every ten seconds where her whole body would shake for a few seconds before relaxing again. It broke his heart to see her like this. She seemed so vulnerable and defenceless to whatever was happening to her.

He just sat there, trying to be there for her while she kept trembling before she fell asleep after a while.