Trapped in my head

Chapter 21

"Andrew?" he heard her beautiful voice from behind him, immediately sending a smile to his lips. "I wanted to apologise for what happened yesterday. I thought a lot about it and I realized that I was probably very rude to you because maybe I didn't explain enough and just- I don't I don't know how to explain it. But since I was- I was a little disrespectful when you asked me about Wednesday- uh the date- ugh God I practised this." She begun but it seemed as if she lost track of what she wanted to say.

"You memorized what you wanted to say?" he asked a little amused but she ignored him. "Uhm- about Wednesday and- and there is a firework at Kerry Park, with the view of the Skyline and the space needle and maybe we could- we could have a date there I mean- uhm- I mean we could have a picnic." She finished, nervously fidgeting with her hands as she was trying to look everywhere but his eyes.

"Mer, there's no need to apologise about what happened. I knew what I was getting myself into that day on the elevator. And ever since then I never ever regretted a single second of being with you. And that means not just for the good moments but also for the bad ones. I really love spending time with you, even when you're not feeling well and therefor say or do things you don't mean to. And I know that. So, yes, I'd love to have a picnic and watch a firework with you on Wednesday." He said, taking her hands in his and gently pulling her over behind the building so they could have a moment in private.

"And I think it's absolutely adorable that you practised what you wanted to say." He chuckled, making her blush brightly as she finally looked up at him, her eyes watery. "Don't cry." He said a little confused, pulling her into his arms and placing a kiss on her forehead. "But you say all those perfect things and I can't even say something romantic when I practise it for hours." She sniffled, cuddling into his embrace. "But that's nothing to feel bad about Meredith, I don't need you to say romantic things. I- Iov- uh- I like you just the way you are." He said, squeezing his eyes shut and praying that she didn't hear what he almost said.

But she had. Quickly moving out of his arms she looked up at him. "Andrew I- I don't know- how relationships work and- and after what time it is appropriate to say that but- but I guess one week is- is not enough time. I- I'm sorry do- do you really-" she begun, tears now running down her cheeks freely. "I'm sorry Mer, please forget that I said that you're one hundred percent right it's way too early for that. Just forget about it alright?" he pleaded, starting to panic now.

She just stayed silent, looking at him with big, teary eyes. She had no idea what to do. She had now idea how she was supposed to feel. "When- when we first started dating, one week ago, you told me that a relationship with you would be different and honestly I didn't expect anything else but that's what makes you so special. That you're not like every other woman I've ever dated. You're different and yes- I love you. In every kind of way possible. I've never grown such a bond with anyone that fast, ever. It feels like we've already been together for years and I could never get tired of you. You're just- amazing." He said, not sure what else to do since he obviously couldn't really take it back anymore. He just prayed that she would stay, that she wouldn't run away or break up with him. But at the same time it wasn't right to count on the fact that this was her first relationship ever and that she didn't know what to do, feel or say so that it wouldn't be fair to make decisions for her. And if she would need time he would understand that.

"Andrew I- I don't want- it feels like I'm in the middle of an oral exam about something I didn't study for I- I don't know what to do. Wouldn't it be unfair to you if I wouldn't say it too? That I love you? Because I don't know that. I don't know anything I have no idea what I am supposed to do. I- I really like you but I don't know what it's like to be in love. But that's not fair to you like I said because you do and I guess- I guess it's amazing that you love me but I think it's too early to say that but you said it and please let me continue I need to- I need to get my thoughts right. I have a feeling, and- and I feel really amazing every time I'm with you. You just make me feel really great and I like that. And when you came yesterday you- you helped me so much because you just did everything right. Uhm- I just think that- I mean- I've read books and in those books when someone said this too early the other one ran away or said that they weren't ready and that they needed time but I don't think that's the same with me. I think that I really liked it when you said that because it made me feel this feeling again although it was surprising and I didn't expect you to say that but I liked it. You make me feel better and- and special and I enjoy that. I really like spending time with you and I like cuddling with you. But I don't know if you feel all of that too but- if you do and that's why you said it then I guess that feeling I have is love and- that I love you too."

And then the brightest of smile appeared on his face. This was a special relationship, the most amazing relationship he had ever been in and like this the usual rules didn't apply, if they fall in love with each other within one week than that's totally okay. Smiling and crying at the same time he said: "See, you can say romantic things without practising."

She just giggled before throwing herself in his arms and kissing him. She was still kissing very carefully and softly but he had learned to enjoy that even more than the passionate kissing he had known before. Because this was her. This was Meredith and those special kisses they shared were more than wonderful. "So, we're gonna do even more coupply things now? We'll do sleepovers? And watch the firework together?" she asked, smiling brightly at him, the tip of her nose almost touching his. "Sounds perfect." He gave back, gently laying his forehead against hers, not knowing whether she would like that or not but it seemed as if she did.

It was as if they were complementing each other. They were made for each other. "But there's still a lot you don't know about me and that I don't know about you- are you sure that- that we're doing everything right?" she then asked, pulling away again. "Mer, if it feels right for us than it's just how it's supposed to be and I can't wait to get to know everything about you. We'll figure this out, I promise." He soothed her. His heart was literally exploding as he was looking into her beautiful face after what they had just told each other. It seemed as if everything was just- perfect.

"We should go back in now, I have a surgery in a bit." She then said, still smiling brightly at him. "Okay, Bailey will be mad anyways, rounds started already ten minutes ago but this was so worth it." He said, kissing her one more time before both of them walked back into the hospital, not being able to stop smiling at all.