Trapped in my head

Chapter 66

"No! Andrew you don't get it! It's not going to be okay. It is not going to be okay." She shouted, her face turning red, her anxiety turning into anger. "Meredith."

"No don't! Just don't. Don't be all nice and caring! You need to listen to me! I'm yelling at you I'm yelling we're having a fight. You can't just calm me down by saying "it's going to be okay" because it's not. It's not okay. We're fighting. I'm not being unreasonable. I'm yelling at you because you don't understand anything!!" She kept yelling, getting up again and starting to walk through the kitchen.

"Okay you want me to yell I will. You had no right to hide my keys. You had no right to just make that decision. God Meredith for once, just for once talk to me. Communicate with me. Don't just suck up your feelings and talk to me! If you would have just talked to me in the beginning then none of this would have happened. This- is all your fault. You could have talked to me! You could have explained it to me and I would have listened! But this- this mess- this fight. It's on you. You had no right to take away my keys and decide to let me think that I lost them. Why can't you just talk to me. Why do you always have to act so childish! For once in your life just act like a normal human being." He yelled back, getting up as well

But the second he was done he already regretted his outburst. He had never wanted to say that. Meredith went quiet, looking down. "Meredith." He said more softly. He hadn't wanted to say that. He hadn't wanted to yell at her. He had never wanted to make this about her autism. "You should go." She whispered calmly, not looking up at him as she was standing in front of him, her gaze fixed onto the table.

"Fine." He said, reaching out his hand to grab his keys that were still laying on the table but before he could reach them Meredith had already shoved them into her pocket. "Give me the keys Meredith." He said, sighing. "You're not getting on a motorcycle while you're angry at me." She whispered, holding onto the keys in her pockets so tightly that they started to cut into her hand. If he would get on that motorcycle and die the last thing they would have said to each other would have been things said out of anger. Things neither of them had really wanted to say.

Without saying anything else he walked past her and a few seconds later she could hear the front door close. She just stood there, frozen on the spot. As she pulled out the keys of her pocket her hand was covered in blood. Letting go of the keys she walked over to the sink and washed her hands, revealing a long and pretty deep cut on her palm. Tears were streaming down her cheeks as she continued to wash her hands over and over and over again. Her hand was burning as more and more water came into contact with the fresh blood. It hurt like hell but she couldn't stop, she couldn't pull away her hand. She had no idea how long she stood there washing her hands that were starting to feel numb and wrinkly but all of the sudden the water was turned off and someone wrapped her hands into a towel. Looking up she spotted Alex, examining the cut on her hand.

"What happened?" he asked calmly, grabbing the suture kit from their medical drawer. "We had a fight." She mumbled quietly, watching him as he started to sanitise her hand and the wound before spraying a numbing spray all over it and starting to stich it up. "Did he do this?" he asked angrily, looking up at her for a second. She shook her head, not wanting to meet his eyes. "Did he find out that you hid the keys?" he asked, continuing to stich up the cut.

"How did you know?" she asked a little surprised. "You're a really crappy liar Mer." He said with a small, sad smile on his lips. "I'm scared that he'll leave." She admitted, her eyes fixed onto the needle. She hated needles. But she trusted Alex and it didn't even hurt that much now that it was numbed. But she couldn't help but think back of the time she had been in isolation and Andrew had drawn her blood. Alex didn't say anything. He probably thought that Andrew would leave her too. But honestly she would rather have him leave her than him dying. She didn't regret taking away the keys for a single second. Even if that would mean that their relationship would be over.