Trapped in my head

Chapter 17

Only a little while later Meredith couldn't bare those thoughts swirling around in her head anymore. She wanted to make sure Andrew wasn't mad at her for making him feel as if she was mad at him. Grabbing her phone she dialled Andrew's number, placing her phone next to her head.

"Mer? Hey! Are you okay? You didn't reply to any of my texts." she heard his voice, making a unfamiliar feeling of warmth spreading inside of her. He had this weird effect on her and just by hearing his voice her whole body relaxed. "M'sorry." She mumbled, not really having the energy to form a whole sentence. "Is everything okay?" he asked again, now a little concerned about the fact that she wasn't talking to him.

"Mhm." She said agreeing, closing her eyes again. "Are you not feeling well?" he then asked, not sure what to think about what was going on and especially what he was supposed to do now. Was he supposed to drive over to her place? Or should he just try to help her over the phone? Maybe she wanted to be alone?

Her mind was blocked. She couldn't reply, she just felt empty. She wished she could tell Andrew what was going on and she wished she knew herself what was going on. "Do you want me to come over?" he then asked, still not sure whether he was now crossing a line or if she maybe even wanted him to come. But he never got an answer. "What about I just stay on the phone with you until you fall asleep." He said, being aware that he would now probably never get another answer.

So, he just placed his phone next to him on the table as he was working on his laptop, looking at Meredith's picture on the screen from time to time. He was concerned but he had no idea what he was supposed to do so that this seemed like the only logical thing to do.

If she wouldn't be so tired she would be smiling right now. This was exactly what she had needed. She had felt alone but now Andrew was somehow with her, comforting her. She could hear him typing on the keyboard of his laptop while he would occasionally place a glass of water back onto the table after taking a few sips. And while concentrating on the different sounds she could hear through the speaker her fingers stopped tingling, the tight feeling in her chest loosened and she slowly fell asleep. But this time it wasn't like the first few times she had taken a nap today. Her mind was free and there weren't any complicated thoughts bothering her.

___________

Two hours later Meredith woke up to the moon shining through her window. It was dark and rainy outside but she was feeling a lot better. Her energy was up again and she felt lighter than earlier this day. It was weird to describe it like this but it was true, she felt lighter, as if the negative feelings, thoughts and being overstimulated had been a weight of a ton added to her that was gone now. Slowly sitting up she rubbed her eyes, grabbing her phone to check the clock, only to see that Andrew was still on the phone. He had been there the whole time she had been sleeping. He had stayed with her and he hadn't even hang up after she had fallen asleep.

"Andrew?" Meredith asked quietly, hearing a shuffling on the other side of the line. "Mer? Hey, how was your nap?" he asked, not being able to suppress a huge smile forming on his lips. "Good." She gave back, readjusting her ankle weights that had slipped down a little while she had been asleep. "Thank you." She then added, still feeling the need to explain herself to him but she had no idea how to.

"Nothing to thank for. Are you feeling better now?" he then asked. "Yeah." Meredith answered, getting distracted by the light switching on in the window of the neighbour's house she could see from the window of her room. Silence. Neither of them said a word and they just awkwardly hang in the line. "Did you know that you snore?" Andrew then asked, chuckling. "What? I don't snore" Meredith immediately gave back, feeling the heat rising in her head as she turned red. "Yes you do, it's adorable." He gave back, chuckling again.

"You're mean." Meredith mumbled. "I just called you adorable how am I mean?" Andrew asked amused, trying to imagine her cute expression. "You're not mean." She then said, making him laugh again. "I'm sorry. I was just so exhausted that I couldn't talk earlier. I was just- really not feeling well." She then explained, finally sorting out her thoughts in the right way.

"Oh Mer, don't apologise. But I was really worried about you although I'm glad you're feeling better now." He said, still smiling brightly. He didn't mind at all staying on the phone with her the past two hours. He would do everything to help her, to make her feel better. And he was glad that it seemed as if he had been able to help.

"But- do I really snore?" She asked sternly, earning another laugh from Andrew. "You do, but really it was very sweet. I didn't know such a tiny person could produce such a loud noise." He said, thinking back of the past two hours were he had manly laid next to his phone, listening to Meredith's snoring and breathing which had been the cutest thing he had ever heard. And just by thinking about how she would scrunch up her nose from time to time while being asleep his heart warmed up immediately. He was so falling for her.

"Hey! That was mean!" Meredith exclaimed, not being able to supress her own laugh though. "I'm sorry. Did you read my texts?" he then asked, still excited to go on their next date.

"Yeah." She gave back, looking out of the window again. He had asked her about a date on Wednesday. "So? What do you think?" he asked, and she could almost hear him smirking through the phone. "Uhm. Sure." She then answered, looking down. "You don't sound very happy though Mer. You can tell me if you don't want to go." He replied as he noticed that she didn't sound that excited anymore all of the sudden.

But she stayed silent. "What about we talk about it tomorrow in person, you don't have to decide right now it's okay." He said and as she didn't answer he smiled sadly, saying: "Bye Mer." Before hanging up. Sighing she let herself fall down onto the mattress. What the hell was wrong with her? What was going on? She loved spending time with Andrew so why didn't she just say 'Yes of course I'd love to'.

As if it was so hard to say those five little words. And now he hated her.