Trapped in my head

Chapter 54

As they arrived at the house they rented for the week, Meredith stayed close to Andrew as everyone else immediately started to explore the area around the house. "You okay?" he asked her, squeezing her hand gently as he noticed how she was anxiously looking around. She just nodded, not saying anything. It was hard. She was away from home in an entirely unfamiliar environment. She would stay in a foreign house in a foreign room and sleep in a foreign bed and that was- a lot. And she was scared.

"What about we go inside and see where we are sleeping tonight?" he asked her, placing his hand on the small of her back in order to comfort her a little. "Okay." She said quietly, following him towards the front door and inside. As soon as they entered the house Meredith was met with a very strong smell of lavender. But it wasn't a good lavender-smell. Immediately she started breathing through her mouth. It was a reflex by now. "We'll open the windows and let some fresh air into the house." Andrew said as he noticed how uncomfortable the smell was for her.

Half an hour later everyone had moved into their rooms and had started to unpack their things. The room Meredith and Andrew shared had a big queen-sized bed, a tall closet and they even had their own bathroom. After having unpacked everything they sat down on the bed. "I think I like the house. I just needed a bit to adjust. But next time I should probably bring my own sheets and pillows." Meredith whispered, smiling at him adorably. Andrew just smiled back at her, seeing how she was biting her lip and already suspecting what was going to follow.

Very slowly she crawled over to him and sat down on his lap, laying her legs around his hip and her arms around his waist, looking at his lips. "I want to tell you something. And it has something to do with your surprise." She whispered, not looking up at him. "Mhm?" he asked, observing every small detail of her beautiful face. "I- read a book a few days ago." She said, now meeting his eyes with her gaze. "And what was it about?" he asked a little confused, not sure what she was trying to say. He had hoped that she would kiss him.

"Let's just say that it was rated eighteen plus and- I learned a few things while reading it." She said, her smile turning into a grin as she looked down again. Andrew now had troubles containing his excitement. Was Meredith teasing him?

Slowly leaning forward she placed her lips on his, starting to kiss him. Her kisses were still shyly and she seemed a little nervous as well so that he gently pulled her closer, placing his hands on her waist. As she pulled away again to catch her breath she giggled quietly what made his heart start to beat faster. And before he knew what was happening she had pushed him onto the mattress, now hovering over him. "I definitely need to read that book of yours." He whispered as she lowered herself, her face just a few inches away from his.

Bending down a little she started to kiss him again, brushing her hips against his as he carefully deepened the kiss, cupping her face with his hands. He loved how self-confident she seemed to be right now. It was hot. And then, as he attempted to take off her jacket she stopped, smiling at him. "No, that will have to wait a little longer." She whispered, sitting up.

"What?" he asked, chuckling in confusion. "You can't just tease me like that and then not finish what you started." He said, looking at her as she grinned at him. "Oh I can." She said confidently, standing up. "You're unbelievable" Andrew whispered, not being able to hide how surprised he was. "But- you know what?" she asked, sitting back down, and crawling over to him again, stopping just in front of him, her lips about an inch away from his. "I always finish what I start." She whispered before pulling away and walking out.

As she closed the door behind her she couldn't help but starting to giggle. She had done exactly what she had read in that book and it had worked. She had even copied all of the phrases and it had worked perfectly so that she couldn't help but be excited about it. The rest of the surprise was going to be so great.

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The whole time during dinner Andrew couldn't help but look at Meredith every few seconds. He had not expected what had happened earlier from her and he was more than confused. It had been absolutely amazing. She had set it up in an absolutely brilliant way, at a time and place where he hadn't expected it. And her technique had been- impressive. He couldn't wait for what was going to happen after dinner.

But at the same time he was a little worried. He had immediately understood that she had just been copying what she had read in that book and he had absolutely loved that. But- that wasn't her and he was scared that she was feeling the need to be someone else around him. He was worried that she thought that she had to mask her autism around him. So, he needed to talk to her before he could really enjoy spending the night with her.

After dinner, without saying anything he took her hand and led her outside. It was still pretty warm outside since the sun hadn't set yet so that they walked down to the beach. "Meredith, I need to talk to you about earlier." He said, looking at her from the side. "Why? Did- Did I do anything wrong?" she asked anxiously, looking down at the ground.

"No, no what you did was- amazing Mer. But I- I am worried that you are just copying what you've read because you feel pressured to do so. And while you are copying someone else you're not yourself. I am just scared that you feel the need to mask around me." He said, taking both of her hands in his.

"You know that- you are the only person in my life I have never pretended to be someone else around? From the first second on I felt safe with you. I'm always myself around you. And that's something big because sometimes I still mask around Alex whom I've known for ages." She said, looking up at him every now and then, doing her best on keeping the eye contact as long as possible. "I only copied the things in the book because I- I don't know how to do those things. I know that sounds stupid but honestly when- I bought that book I didn't even know that it contained a part like this but- while reading it I- I somehow wanted to try it out too and- I was so happy when it worked earlier. You were so confused." She chuckled, looking up at him with watery eyes.

"And while doing it I felt- really good. And I'm looking forward to what's going to happen tonight. I promise I will never ever mask around you." She said, now looking into his eyes a little longer than before. "Okay." He replied, letting out a breath of relief. "And I am really looking forward to that too. Also as long as you feel comfortable with trying those things- you're allowed to try whatever you want with me. I'll be open for everything. And we'll take everything at your pace." He said, slowly leaning down to place a gently kiss on her lips. 

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