Trapped in my head

Chapter 19

She felt arms around her, picking her up from the floor. It was Andrew, she could feel his muscular body hugging hers, holding her close. Had Alex called him? That didn't matter. All that mattered was that he was here. She felt him rubbing her back, pressing kisses onto her head while she buried her head into the crock of his neck, breathing in his cologne. Somehow his smell calmed her down and how he carefully massaged her back was extremely soothing.

Trying to block out all the noises around her she tried to focus on the physical touch. She was trembling as she tried to listen to what Andrew was saying. Her brain felt as if it was tingling from the inside and all she needed was quietness. "Headphones." She managed to mumble quietly, her voice raspy from all the crying. It felt so good being in Andrew's arms. Here she was safe from this voice in her head because she knew Andrew wouldn't judge her. He was her safe place.

Only a few seconds later she felt her noise cancelling headphones being placed on her head. "It's okay." Was what she heard. The noise cancelling headphones seemed to shut out everything except Andrew's voice. Now it was as if Andrew's voice was coming from right inside her head, calming down her thoughts and fighting against this voice bullying her.

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It was weird and in no way he had imagined his Monday morning to look like this. He was sitting on Meredith's bed, holding her in his arms as she was having a meltdown while Alex was sitting next to him, ranting about what they should do to help her. He suggested calling Dr. Wyatt or turning on music or giving her a sleeping aid but Andrew didn't want to do neither of those things. He just wanted to hold her because he could feel how her little heart was starting to beat slower again and the tension in her body faded. Moving further onto the bed he adjusted her in his arms, moving her legs to rest around his hip so she could be even closer to him.

It hurt him to see her like this especially since he had no idea what was going on. He had already noticed this yesterday when they had talked over the phone. She hadn't been feeling very well, probably even the whole day and now her bottled up feelings had caused her to have this meltdown.

He smiled sadly as he felt her cuddling further into him, tickling him as she buried her nose into his neck. "Are you even listening?" Alex suddenly asked, gently pushing his shoulder. "I am. I think we should just wait she's calming down again." Andrew gave back, not looking up. He hated Alex. He was absolutely annoying and mainly just rude to him at least. He didn't exactly understand their relationship but Alex was Meredith's friend and he was just like him, trying to help her. And after all he had called him and he was more than grateful for that.

"DeLuca, I've seen her having thousands of meltdowns trust me we have to do something. Doing nothing won't help her at all." Alex exclaimed, his voice sounding nothing but angry. "Don't go." Meredith suddenly mumbled, not wanting Andrew to move a single inch. Alex was wrong. Of, course Alex had already helped her so many times when she would have a meltdown or an episode but just the fact that Andrew was so calm and held her, not pressuring her to talk or trying to get her to answer questions about how she was feeling was helping her so much more than Alex ever was in any way.

And soon Meredith had fallen asleep and Andrew wasn't sure what to do. Should he lay her down in bed or should he stay like this and just hold her while she would sleep a little?

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After Alex had been paged for an emergency surgery Andrew had continued to sit on the bed with Meredith, making sure she would feel safe while sleeping. It didn't even take her long to wake up again and when she did so she had a slight smile on her face as their eyes met. "You're still here." She whispered groggily, trying to fix her hair a little. "Of course I am." He replied, gently wiping away her dried tears with his thumb.

"What do you want to do?" he then asked after a few minutes of silence while she was still slowly waking up. How could he be so perfect. His first question wasn't about how she was feeling or what she was feeling or if she was feeling better but he asked what she wanted to do. "I want to tell you what happened I just don't know how to." She answered, fidgeting with the buttons of his shirt while still sitting on his lap. "Take your time, you don't need to tell me right now." He gave back, continuing to stroke her hair. Even with her cheeks and eyes all red and puffy she was still the most beautiful human on this planet.

"Thank you. For coming and for staying and for- being you." She mumbled, blushing slightly as she looked down. It was true. Andrew was amazing, just because he was him. Just because he was so caring and loving. Just because he drove all the way here to be there for her. "Nothing to thank for." He said. Internally he was freaking out because he still didn't know what was going on with her but he didn't want to push her and honestly he really enjoyed having her sit on his lap with this adorable expression on her face.

And then she looked up and leaned in to kiss him, very gently and shyly but it was perfect. He had never ever experienced such a gentle kiss and wanted to let her continue what she was doing without intensifying the kiss because somehow it was still absolutely perfect. He could see the sparkle in her eyes as she pulled away and looked at him, making his heart flutter. This woman was a mystery and he absolutely loved it. This was her way of showing that she liked him and that was fine with him. No, it wasn't just fine. He loved it. He loved her.