Grand Theft (The Umbrella Academy)

CHAPTER SIXTY-FOUR: Frenemies

Diego frantically ran around the pink painted White Buffalo Suit. "What the hell are you doing? Stanley is gone! We need to face this!" Lila shouted after him.

"Just check the chimney!" he yelled back as he looked under the couch cushions in a frenzy.

"He's not in the bloody chimney! He's been Kugelblitzed!"

"Whose fault is that, huh? You're the one that brought him here!"

Five sighed as he studied the secret door. "Congratulations. You're both mildly terrible parents. Can we focus?"

"How did this open before?"

"I don't know. It was already kinda open." Diego gestured you the door.

""Already kinda open,"" Lila mocked.

"Wow, you two sure you're not married yet?" Fleur let out a chuckle.

"Diego, you should have been an engineer. It's a lost opportunity."

"Why'd you wanna go in there anyway? It's just sushi and death." Lila grimaced.

"Hm. Was it good sushi?" Fleur asked earning narrowed eyes from Diego.

"When we met future me in the Commission bunker, I warned myself about Oblivion."

"Pogo told us—"

Diego stopped his search. "Wait, whoa, whoa! Pogo's alive?"

"Obviously a different Pogo, but yeah. He's a tattoo artist in a biker gang if you can believe it." Fleur went back to studying the door too.

"The monkey said Dad spent years training the Sparrows for some kind of super-secret mission into..." Five gestured to the door with the pink flamingo on it.

"Oblivion," Fleur finished.

Lila pointed between the two. "Cute. Do you do this often? Finish each other's thoughts?"

Diego rolled his eyes. "It's like they share their brain cells." Fleur and Five exchanged smiles and shrugged.

"Besides the point. We come back here and find that you two sentient STDs have actually been in there," Five got back on track.

"Every route's bringing us to this door so, we gotta go in there. Find an answer. Any answer." Fleur shook her head quizzically at the stubborn door.

"Hell no! Not happening," Diego demanded.

"No way! We barely got out alive," Lila exclaimed in agreement.

"What happened to one for the world? You guys were quick to let Harlan off the hook," Bonnie fired, turning back to look at them.

Five scowled at the door that refused to budge and pivoted towards Diego and Lila as well. "This is more than just you two."

"Says the guy with all his fingers. I didn't get this by giving a mummy a hand job, alright?" Diego stepped eye to eye with Five... even though he had to bend down a bit. Lila scrunched her nose briefly at his choice in comeback. "I went in there, and I lost my fingers to this thing with... with a knife on a chain."

"Hey, look, Diego might be ninety percent moron and ten percent pelvic thrusts, but he's right about Oblivion, okay? We're not just gonna waltz back in there just because you two say so." Lila flourished a a hand to the door.

Luther and Sloane walked up behind them "Good, because you're coming with us."

"This should be interesting." Five crossed his arms.

Fleur squinted her eyes. "Where?"

"Sparrow Academy," Sloane answered.

"The world's ending, so I think it's time we put our petty bullshit aside and work together on this Kugelblitz," Luther said firmly.