My only source of light

[61]

From the moment his eyes closed, Mikey knew nothing but darkness and cold. At first he thought he had just passed out but at some point he didn't know how long he had been there either.

When the pains stopped, even though he still knew they were there, Mikey thought it was over and that he had died.

There was no way it would be heaven, of that he was sure, he always knew he wouldn't get there even though his methods were justified but still inadequate.

He was sad though that he couldn't make it to heaven, he really wanted to be reunited with Emma and Shinichiro.

Still he hadn't expected hell to be like this, but how could he know. But now that he was here the place didn't seem so bad, just lonely.

But that's what he needs anyway, peace. Pushing that thought aside Mikey began to look around, nothing, even though he was now lying on that nothingness.

He stood up and started walking in a direction that most likely led nowhere. The more he walked, the more he imagined his childhood and the beautiful moments.

He started to smile a little as he remembered the first time he met Draken, his childhood with Baji, and especially when they founded the Manji Gang.

He will miss his adventures with Takemichi, the motorcycle rides with Mitsuya, the twins' madness when it comes to fighting.

His smile faded without him realizing it. Things were never going to go back to normal, and in a way that was good for their lives.

It wasn't easy to have a criminal like him as a friend and when he thought about it he remembered something else, a smile that always lights his way and that he hadn't seen much of in a while.

Senju.

He wonder what she was doing now, crying thinking where she should bury him or cursing him for causing her trouble.

He never wanted things to end like this but he had nothing to do but resign himself. But Mikey knew he was going to regret it when he didn't let his heart speak but his brain instead. Senju is an understanding person, maybe if he tried he could have both, the basis for his brother but also his loved one.

Letting the train of memories invade his mind, Mikey looked up and looked at the small beam of light coming from somewhere in front of him. Without thinking, he took off running, running faster and faster when the light was still far away.

As he ran away, Mikey's memories of the Senju flashed back into his mind. The first time they met, how her drawings hit him square in the face but he didn't even care because Senju exuded a beauty he hadn't experienced before.

Emma was beautiful but in a way very different from Senju and Senju's beauty gave him feelings he had never experienced before. So for Mikey the first time they met under the big cherry tree was an unforgettable one.

He really didn't want to leave, as if something was holding him back and wouldn't let him escape, as if that force knew Mikey would regret it if he went back and gave it all away.

So instead of turning and walking away, which he should have done if he didn't want her to get hurt, he walked closer to the tree and the girl. They didn't talk much, all he remembers is the warmth the girl exuded and wanting to be there every day.

He was very glad, which hadn't happened in a while, to the two kids who came in their way and gave him another opportunity for him to meet her.

Even when he come to her college Mikey couldn't forget, how cute she looks with red cheeks and dry lips. It was the first time Mikey had noticed something so trivial about a girl. Sometimes he would forget to compliment Emma and the girl would sulk.

But what Mikey liked the most was the outing between the two of them at the festival. The more he remembered the greater the light grew.

From the distance he was standing he could tell that the giant light had split into two, and he was urging his legs to go even faster.

Then he remembered Shinichiro and his shop. How he had taught Mikey everything he knew about motorcycles.

Even though when he was little he would look bored when his brother started talking about his gang, but on the inside Mikey was very happy to be able to hear this story.

It didn't even matter how many times. All he liked was the happiness in Shinichiro's eyes when he talked about what he liked the most.

But the memories with Senju persisted the most. And he didn't know why that didn't scare him anymore. All he knew was that he shouldn't stop and run further, pausing was not an option, not when the risk was too great.

And finally Mikey arrived in front of the two lights which, now up close, look like two doors. But the strangest thing was that the doors led to two completely different worlds.

The one on the right led back to where he had left earlier, his body now lying on a bed. It was very strange to see your own body lying on a bed with a wound but you feel neither the pain nor the presence of what is around the lying body.

Involuntarily his gaze drifted to the second door and what he saw there shocked Mikey to the core. Shinichiro, Emma, ​​Izana, Draken and Baji were there behind that door.

Just a few step and he could be reunited with them. It was that simple. But then he realized what that would mean. If Mikey chose that door it meant he was going to die.

Although that would scare everyone but to him it was totally different. Just the thought of being reunited with his loved ones made his feet move towards the door on the left.

But then his gaze went to the right and to the gloomy room. And then he saw her. Standing on a chair beside the bed in which he slept with the thought of not returning.

The thought he would leave her alone in this kind of world was not pleased. But the left door was so beautifully lighted that his eyes were heading in that side without him wanting to.

The choice was his. Mikey was left to choose between two worlds in which he would like them to be combined. But it wasn't like that. He couldn't choose both.

If he chose one, the other option is no longer an option. Longing and reunion made Mikey take a small step towards the door on the left. But Senju was still in his head, filling in parts that were broken and unknown.

Emma's eyes appeared in front of the door, smiling at him with love in her yellow eyes, he thought his little sister would never love him again. After all he was the older brother and he couldn't save her, it was his purpose and responsibility.

With his hand on the doorknob and the thought of going after those he couldn't save. He was going to apologize, for not being there, for not fighting harder for his insignificant life.

Every day, before trying and not failing to fall asleep, he always wondered if tomorrow would be the day when death would knock on his door. He jerked back as if the door was on fire, even though it was still there.

Emma wouldn't have wanted one like that and would have cried the moment she found out how he got there.

Draken and Baji would beat him up for making the worst choice of his life. Izana probably wouldn't talk to him and would turn his back every time Mikey wanted to explain himself.

Shinichiro would tell him that he would regret it the moment Mikey realized what he had done. And Senju would have to see him die before Mikey did anything about their nameless relationship.

With her smile in mind Mikey opens the right door.

~1376