Don't let go: Joel Miller x OC

The aftermath

Joel slammed his fist into the wall as the door swung heavily shut behind her. Guilt, regret and shame all bubbling up and boiling over the surface as he yelled out in frustration over what had just happened. "Fuck!"

His knuckles ached from the impact, the skin already mottling to a shade of red. He sighed as he shook his hand off. Regretting that he'd momentarily let his loose temper get the best of him. He was fuming. Mostly at himself. Was this going to be his life going forward? Alone because of his past mistakes? He wasn't sure why he thought for a second that he deserved any different. Perhaps Tess was the only person for him, they were like minded, she understood him and she was there throughout all of that bad shit. He hadn't ever needed to explain himself to her, she just accepted and understood. Oh fuck, the guilt was creeping back in.

The overpowering need to sit down for a second and process. He moved into the kitchen and sunk into one of the hard dining table chairs. He just sat with his face in his palms and elbows resting upon the Oakwood surface, his fight with Ava replaying over and over in his mind. 'Stay the fuck away from me' being her last words breathed to him before walking away. She walked away so easily... God the look in her eye as she said it, void of their usual warmth, a new variant of fire burning within them. He could swear it was pure hatred. Another relationship he'd managed to screw up.

He took in a sharp breath, suddenly snapping himself out of this self pitying spiral he was getting himself into. Ellie. He hadn't heard so much as a peep from her since he walked back through the front door. Where was she? It wasn't like her to stay out of his business...

The chair scraped back as he stood. He padded his way into the hallway and then up the stairs. Silence. He could see the yellow glow of the bedroom light filtering out from Ellie's room. He reached for the door knob and gently twisted it, pushing the door open. He stood in the door way scanning over her discomfited form. The young girl hunched up with her knees under her chin in the window ledge, staring outwards at the distant horizon.

She heard the door creak open and cautiously turned to face him, a heavy nauseated sensation swirling within her stomach. Her eyes slightly reddened and puffy, her face appearing panicked as she sniffled, "Joel, I'm so sorry. I-I'm just so fucking sorry..."

She expected him to be mad- furious even. She expected him to act just how he did on the night they spent in Jackson in the previous year when she over stepped the line regarding Sarah. She was taken back when instead he wandered over to the bed and slumped down soberly, patting his hand on the mattress for her to come over. She warily slid down from the ledge and edged closer, "I didn't mean to..." she trailed off.

He let out another deep sigh as he rubbed his palm across his forehead. That answered his question, it was Ellie. He had assumed it was Maria that mentioned it, knowing that Ava had visited earlier that day. He wasn't angry though, not at her at least, he couldn't be. It wouldn't have been intentional. He knew Ellie wouldn't have done it out of spite. "It ain't... it ain't your fault."

It was almost as if she didn't hear him as the teen continued to ramble on, letting her confession spill out uncontrollably, wanting him to understand that it was nothing more than a mere slip of the tongue. That she didn't mean it... "It just slipped out and I thought she..."

"Ellie, it ain't your fault." He interrupted, a little more stern this time.

Ellie glanced up at him, guilt still plagued her nervous expression and so he continued, "She was gonna find out sooner or later. Better it was now rather than... further down the line... Should have told her myself..."

He broke eye contact as he spoke, focusing down towards his hands. God, he thought there was perhaps a future there, with her in Jackson. A stupid fucking notion... Thinking his 'fresh start' would expand to having a woman to call his own...