Don't let go: Joel Miller x OC

Not Enough

16th August 2026

A warm breeze flowed freely into the kitchen from the window that had been left ajar. The slight air flow swirled into the dark baby hairs upon her head, with Ava being quick to flatten them back down. She hadn't had the time to re bleach her hair... shit, she had barely had a moment to herself since June when they first welcomed their Lily into the world...

With one arm she gently rocked her small infant that had finally fallen to sleep whilst with her other arm, she worked away tirelessly to prepare dinner so that it was ready for when Joel came home.

She had severely misjudged the sheer amount of time and energy motherhood would take up. Lily would sleep for no more than a couple of hours at a time meaning her own rest had been long sacrificed along with any other form of self care...

Both her and Joel had hoped he could take it a bit easier with his duties for just the first couple of months... just whilst Ava recovered but unfortunately due to unforeseen circumstances, that hadn't been able to happen. He'd often be out on patrols six... sometimes seven days a week. This left Ava alone to care for Lily, herself, Rufus and the house.

Ellie was still living in the garage. They'd hoped that Lily would help bring the four of them closer together as a family unit and it did for a bit... that was until last month, when yet again the teen and Joel had another fight over what actually happened at the hospital. Joel was tired and so he snapped at her, perhaps being a little harsher with his words than he meant. Of course he had stuck to his guns, sticking to his lie word for word but with each passing day Ellie seemed to find more and more holes in his story... holes that he wasn't quick enough to provide answers for...

Ava reached across the counter to reach for the spatula she had left on the side. Her arm accidentally brushing against a glass that Ellie must have left earlier in the day, subsequently nudging it off the edge and causing it to drop to the floor.

Ava gasped as she instinctively moved to catch the falling item but her reflexes failed her. The smooth coolness of the glass grazed past her finger tips, skimming her grasp and smashed onto the tiles. Small shards of glass splintering off into all directions.

The sudden jolt of her body and the sound of crashing glass caused Lily to be abruptly awoken and to restart her consistent song of wailed cries.

Ava squeezed her eyes closed as overwhelm drowned her weary body. It's all this kid seemed to do... cry. She'd cry if she was hungry, she'd cry with reflux, she'd cry if she needed changing, she'd cry if she was tired and she'd cry the moment Ava put her in her cot to sleep.

She sniffed inwards as she reopened her eyes and quickly glanced down at the mess made on the floor before letting out a deep sigh and putting her focus back onto her child. She began rocking her, her movements stressed and enervated as she quietly pleaded with the infant to have some mercy, "Shhh... please don't cry... please... shhh."

God, she couldn't wait for Joel to get home. He'd been out on patrols since yesterday morning. She hadn't spoken to another adult from the moment he left... she never realised how lonely motherhood could be... this was the part that nobody ever dared to talk about.

Her self pitying thoughts were abruptly stopped by the sound of trickling liquid. Her brow furrowed. She couldn't remember turning the sinks faucet on. Her eyes darted towards the basin... nope it was off. Then in the corner of her peripheral vision she spotted the source of the sound.

Rufus had guiltily squatted down by the back door to relieve himself. Fuck, she had been so overburdened with her failing of day to day tasks that she hadn't even heard the bloody dog whimpering to go out.