Don't let go: Joel Miller x OC

A Shared Burden pt2

The atmosphere around the area they had claimed as camp was hypertonic. A mass of unspoken tensions and unfelt emotion whirling around the thickened air as the group moved about under a weighted silence.

Ava couldn't help but burden herself with the blame. If she had just curved the truth or masked her shameful expression then perhaps this morning would be different. She knew how the strained conditions would affect the group moving forward. All her loose mouth had done is potentially hinder the pace of getting her daughter back... She'd spent years keeping the truth of her past to herself. Why couldn't she continue to keep it hidden? Why not just say that he was one of those hunters and create some sort of elaborate story to how he escaped from Maria's men? Why did she instead cave to the truth and out herself? Filthy, dirty whore...

Her mind was constantly zoning out and focusing on the 'what ifs'. It wasn't a constructive use of time, she knew that. What if she pushed the distraction task back onto Tess? What if she asked Marlon and Flo to have Lily that night instead? What if she never befriended Sophie- the fucking bitch... What if she never approached Joel about having that selfish night to themselves in the first place? God, that night seemed like a lifetime ago rather than a little over a week... What if, what if, what if....

Her spiralling drifts had her stilled, gaze staring vacantly out to the myriad of countless trees that stood ahead, only to be broken back to the grim reality by Tommys low grumbling drawl. His usual positive disposition seemingly flattened, "Gotta refill the flasks... gonna head down to the stream..."

His words although not directed at her, had her body slowly turning to address. Her eyes scanning over the rest of the group. Ellie sat quietly with her back to everyone, mindlessly prodding a long stick into the remnants of what once was the camp fire. Joel, face still troubled and tense as he fiddled with the various buckles on Maxi's bridle, whilst Tess was in the process of saddling up her own mount. Ava's eyes glanced back to Tommy just as he was about to turn and leave, a chary hand reaching out to lightly tug at his shoulder, "I'll fill them...please..."

He gave her a tight smile as he passed over the water flasks. One that didn't reach his eyes. One that she wasn't entirely sure how to read. Was it sympathy? Was it Pity? She simply returned the expression with her own.

The stream wasn't far, just out of ears reach. Crystal clear, fresh water steadily trickled down through the pebbly grove in the forest floor. Each canister placed against the current to collect the cool liquid flowing down. The soothing tranquility of dribbling aqua serene to her ears, a weight of distress temporarily lifted.

The placidity was short lived. The rumble of a shouting match echoed from within the trees just as she pulled the final and now full canister from the low rising water. The crippling anxiety falling back onto her shoulders like a tonne of bricks.

She could recognise the voices yelling... could probably recognise them from a literal mile away. Joel and Ellie... She knew tensions were running high after yesterday but she had assumed it would have been herself and her husband coming to logger heads. It made sense though... Ellie had told her just that morning that she didn't feel entirely comfortable with what was done. All it would take was for Joel to say something in the wrong tone about the situation for Ellie to lash out...

She gathered that the sudden turbulence was her cue to return...

One foot in front of the other, no real enthusiasm to listen in on whatever it was they were fighting about. As she neared, the raised enunciations gradually became clearer to her ears.

Ellie's low but cracked mocking voice reaching her auricles. "can't tell Ave or Ells...I can't believe you're going to do this to Lily, to Ava... to ME!"