Don't let go: Joel Miller x OC

Helpless ⚠️

The world around him became a distant blur as he froze in the bedroom doorway. His jaw slack and stomach turning as his eyes locked onto the reddened fabric that was only seeping larger by the second. His own blood was draining; he could feel it, being sucked from his veins and vessels. He'd never felt his chest constrict so much, not since... not since he set eyes on Sarah's bloodied, shaking form over twenty one years ago. Breathing felt hard and manual like it would just cease if he didn't consciously try; every forced intake of oxygen ripping through his lungs like a serrated blade. It was suffocating.

Joel wasn't entirely sure how long he had lost himself in that doorway, how long he gazed dazed and vacant at Ava's quivering body on the mattress. Could have been seconds, could've been minutes. He managed to swallow down the obstructively large lump in his throat, feeling it slide down his wind pipe and sit heavy in his heart. He dragged his disorientated attention from the devastating mess growing from between her legs and up to her own face. Fear and anguish faced him, her bloodshot umber eyes all glossy and wet already locked onto him in her very own state of shock.

It was the noise she let out that had him snapping back into the present. A dolorous sob wracked from her lips, high pitched and broken as her eyes dropped to her lap. He watched as she slipped her trembling fingers beneath her robe, only to pull them back out all hot, wet and dripping with red. He choked at her sorrowful wail, a sound that would remain ingrained into his brain for years to come. A sound that would replay over and over in his nightmares and bring him to a overbearing state of panic. Her wails so heartbreakingly sharp and raw that it felt like they were slicing through him.

This couldn't happen. He couldn't loose another... He couldn't fail again. Joel shook himself from his despair, large panicked strides taken towards her. The moment he advanced, Ava scrambled back, her knuckles white as she fisted the sheets.

He reached for her, carefully pulling her back to him as she fought him off. "Baby, we gotta-"

"No, no, no. G-get off. G-get... off..." Ava struggled against his grip, heart pounding violently against her ribs as she meekly shoved at his shoulder.

The tears burned as they welled up beneath his lash line, his voice cracking as he continued to gather her up into his arms whilst she kicked and protested, "Please stop fightin', baby. Please. We n-need help- I-I gotta get you help..."

Her bloodied fingers left smudged prints scattered over his shirt, the carmine that continued to seep from her core dripping warmly onto his forearm and saturating his sleeves. The metallic smell of copper so pungent it tied and twisted around his guts, notching up the dials of his nausea.

At this point he didn't know what to say. He couldn't console her, not when he could now feel himself shattering from the inside. After all the pain and torture she had to endure over the past two days and now this? The world just wasn't letting up, not allowing them to have a break from the seemingly constant shit storm it produced. It wasn't fair; it wasn't fair on either of them.

It felt as if his lungs were collapsing in on themselves, slowly suffocating him. As much as he tried to cling onto the ever fading idea of hope, the pessimism in him had already made its conclusion, already decided that this miracle of a second chance had already been snatched away from him- from them. He couldn't bring himself to say it out loud. That if he didn't address the bleak truth of it, it might not be real. All he could see was the image of her broken soul and blood stained dressing gown haunting his vision. She knew... she already fucking knew, that much was clear from the fear on her paled face. She knew and he couldn't even fool himself by lying to her...

He all but sprinted down to the infirmary, legs heavy and aching whilst clutching onto her frail body helplessly as she continued her solemn song of ear splitting wails. He barged himself in through the doors, breathless and panicked. The waiting room stood empty as he bellowed out between muttering futile reassurances into her damp hair, "Help! You're gonna be alright, Ave. I know, I know- M'so sorry, so fuckin' sorry, darlin' - I need fuckin' help! Now!"