The Arrangement (Mattheo Riddle)

Ch.18~ Snow.

I sat for a while, contemplating in silent.

About many things.

One being, the fact that this was all real. I was really pregnant, and it was a girl. The thought hadn't left my mind from that dinner party nearly three months ago, but now, it just felt real.

Second being; the way I just completely exploded on Mattheo. Yes, I could've said worse things, but I was never the kind to ever speak my mind so openly. So relentlessly. It all kind of just... slipped.

I also don't think I was ever the kind of hurt I was now.

I seen the remorse, in his eyes. He looked filled with sorrow. But was he only sorry because of the toll this whole situation has taken on me and my body. Or was he genuinely ripping himself apart for the emotional aspect of it all.

I didn't think it mattered. Either way, what was done, was done. I'd accepted it a long time ago.

I felt a shift in my self, the following days. I wanted to take care of my self, for her. A couple of days ago, I truly didn't care for her. But now, she's a her. And she's mine. I needed to be better, for her. I needed to give her all the things this fucked up life never did, I was going to make sure of it.

By the following week, I had a routine solidified. Wake up, have my breakfast, read by my window, shower, lunch, walk in gardens, nap, dinner, think of baby names, bed.

However, my perfect day was ruined one sunny winter afternoon. I was particularly enjoying my walk this day. There was a perfect sheet of freshly fallen snow on the path in front of me, trailing through the bushes, leading to the stables. I was having fun, watching my boots leaves marks in the fluffy snow. Until I heard,

"It's it a bit cold out here for you?" With a dry laugh from behind me.

"I think it's beautiful out, actually." I quickly turned to face Mattheo, who stood nearly shivering.

"Beautiful doesn't mean, it isn't cold." He laughed again.

"Yeah, tell me about it." I said, with a very straight face on, watching his expression drop.

"I am happy to see you outside, doing what the doctor said."

"I'm doing it for her, no one else Mattheo." I whispered, turning to continue my walk.

"I know that." I heard him following behind me. "I want to help you."

"You can help me, by staying away from me." I huffed.

"I understand I hurt you, I really do. But you're having our baby, our baby, I want to be there for her. Like our parents never were." He slowed his walking.

"Your father isn't going to be happy it's a girl, the doctor made it very clear. So why do you care?" I stopped to face him.

"Because she's ours, and she's my daughter. I want to give her the things that I was deprived of as a kid, a father who cared. A mother who loved her children. A stable home." He half smirked.

"A stable home?" I laughed a bit. "Mattheo, she's being born into a loveless marriage, she was created by an order, not anything else. Don't you think she's already at a disadvantage for your little dream?"

"Maybe. But I believe in time, we can fix this. I'll do anything, Rosalia." He reached his hand out for me.

"You want to help me? You'll do anything?" I took my hand back.

He nodded.

"I want to see my brother."