Trigger warning: loss
Taylor groaned, waking up from a nap. The sunlight drifted from the top of the curtains, making Taylor squint. She heard the door open and saw Travis enter. "Hey there sleepyhead", said Travis, sitting on the edge of the bed. "What time is it", asked a disoriented Taylor. "It's almost three. Feeling any better?", asked Travis. "Yeah a little. I swear Kelce if you knock me up again", warned Taylor. "You'll what?", teased Travis, earning him a look from Taylor. "I'll make it so you can't have any more children", said Taylor, sitting up a little in the bed. She placed her hand on her four month belly, a comfort mechanism. "Ok, just imagining that makes me appreciate my balls being intact even more. Dang, that would really hurt", said Travis, putting his hand on top of Taylor's on her belly. Taylor gave Travis a disgusted face. "You try pushing out a watermelon", said Taylor, laying back and sighing. She sniffed, blowing her nose in a nearby Kleenex. "I'm sorry you're not feeling good today lovey", said Travis. "Don't worry Kelce, this won't be the first or last day I'm sick because of the baby". "I know. But I'm ready for those", said Travis, kissing her temple.
"Kelce, your babies are so hard to be pregnant with", confessed Taylor as she laid her head against his shoulder as they watched Friends after dinner. "I know baby. And you're doing so good with it", said Travis, rubbing her arm the way she liked it. This made Taylor sigh, leaning on Travis even more in relaxation. "I'm sure my babies are pretty average in hardness to be pregnant with considering you're the only woman I've gotten pregnant and you've never been pregnant before this so", defended Travis.
Taylor quickly tensed up a little, avoiding eye contact with Travis. "Are you ok baby? Did I do something?", asked Travis softly, kissing the side of her head. Taylor shook her head, blinking back tears. 'These damn pregnancy hormones', thought Taylor. "Baby, you can tell me anything, I promise I won't be mad", comforted Travis. "No, you don't understand", said Taylor, a tear escaping her eye. "Baby, I'm so so so sorry if I did something. But please tell me what I did so I won't do it again", encouraged Travis, turning the TV off so it was just them talking. "I'm sorry Trav", she said, a soft sob escaping her. "Come here baby. It's ok", shushed Travis soothingly, engulfing her into a hug. "I'm a mess today", Taylor said through a sob. "No you're not. You are never a mess. You're my beautiful girl", said Travis, playing with her hair with is left hand. Travis's thoughts were all over the place, wondering why she was suddenly so sad.
Taylor calmed down against his chest, gripping onto his shirt as if he'd go, even though nothing could keep Travis from Taylor's aid. "Can you tell me now?", asked Travis softly. Taylor cautiously nodded. She took a deep breath. "When I was 19 I found out I was pregnant with John's baby", began Taylor, Travis wiping his thumb under her eye, making her tears disappear. "It's ok", he whispered taking her hands in his. Taylor kissed his thumbs as they passed her lips. She continued. "I really wanted to keep it because I loved the baby already, but I knew John wouldn't. So I kept it a secret from him as long as I could, saying I was bloated and wearing baggy clothes. But eventually I couldn't hide it anymore and John asked me straight out if I was pregnant and I denied. But he didn't believe me so he took me to the doctors against my will and they confirmed that I was pregnant. He wanted me to get an abortion, but I had already fallen in love with the baby. But I was also madly in love with him, so I... I had an abortion. I don't think I can ever forgive myself for killing my precious baby".
Travis had no words, only a pang in his heart imagining what it must have felt like to experience it. Without a word, Travis drew Taylor into his arms, swaying softly while placing soft kisses on her hairline. Her sobs continued despite his best efforts. "I could have a 14 year old son right now", she sobbed. "I'm so sorry baby", said Travis. "You knew the gender?", asked Travis softly, placing his hand on her bump. Taylor nodded. "I was four months along. I'd already felt little flutters. Damn, I miss my baby", sobbed Taylor into Travis's chest. His heart was broken for her. "I'm so sorry baby. This should have never happened to you at 19 years old. When I was nineteen I still had to call my mom for her to remind me of how to do the laundry", said Travis, trying to lighten the mood a bit. Taylor let out a light laugh but her sobs followed. Travis spoke reassuring words to her but understood that this was part of her grieving and all he needed to do to help her was be there, hold her, and listen. As her cries continued, she unveiled more truths that Travis had no idea about. Taylor had a pained past and he knew that and accepted that, but he had no idea that some ass hole had forced her to kill their baby. He wished he could take every bit of pain from her but he couldn't; all he could do was hold her. But he also understood that to really heal an 'old' wound, you have to break away the scar and sometimes go back to where you started from, and Travis would be there the whole way for the woman he loved most in this world.
Once Taylor was relatively calm, Travis carried her broken self to the bedroom to clean her up and go to bed. "I don't deserve you", Taylor mumbled as she lay in between his legs in the bathtub, her eyes drifting shut. "Shh baby. Don't talk like that. I am the one who doesn't deserve you", he said, tears threatening to spill from his eyes just rethinking about the trauma Taylor had just unfolded. His grip on her tightened, both hands on her baby bump. "Trav, too tight", she whimpered. "Oh, I'm sorry baby". Travis loosened his grip on her, stoking her belly gently. "I felt a flutter", Taylor said, smiling. "Oh, hi girlie! She must recognize her daddy", Travis said, smoothing out her belly. "She's not the only one", Taylor said in a low murmer. "Alright now, looks like your old dirty minded self is back, and I'm here for it", Travis said, smiling as he reached down and laid a kiss on her cheek and then one on her neck.
"Thanks for helping me heal today, Travvy", Taylor mumbled groggily against his chest as they lay in bed that night. "Of course baby. I love you so much, I hope you know that", Travis answered, kissing her forehead. Taylor nodded, too tired to respond but went so sleep comforted by Travis the healing that took place that day.
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