Taylor sighed, being wheeled back to her hospital room. She held back tears after seeing the man she loved in such a delusional condition.
"How is he?", Elizabeth asked, sitting in a rocking chair adjacent to the bed.
Taylor shook her head, blinking back tears.
"Oh, honey. Do you want to hold your baby?", the older woman asked, knowing that sometimes holding someone who was half Travis would help Taylor feel better.
Taylor nodded, cradling the newborn baby girl in her arms.
She sniffed, looking into her daughter's alert blue eyes. Taylor was so glad that her baby girl was born with more hair than her son was when he was born. At this rate, she would be able to put bows in Dolly's hair by 6 months.
"Do you want to talk about it?", Elizabeth asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.
Taylor took a deep breath, wiping a tear that fell from her cheek to her daughter's face.
Dolly scrunched her little face up adorably, sneezing as a reaction. Taylor smiled, pulling her daughter's head to her lips.
She huffed. "He is delusional. He just seems drunk. His speech is slurred and hard to make out. He was confused when he found out I wasn't pregnant anymore. He didn't even ask to see her or Archie. I know he's on a lot of painkillers right now, but it still hurts because that's not how my husband acts", she sniffed, wiping her eyes with a tissue.
Elizabeth nodded, rubbing Taylor's thigh gently.
Taylor shut her eyes. She was simply exhausted. Tired of the world not going her way. Tired of having to share the joys and burdens of having a newborn with herself. Tired of acting like she was ok when she felt like she was dying inside. She hated to admit it, but if she had felt this way and wasn't married to the love of her life and had two kids, she just might have ended her own life in those moments of sheer loneliness.
"I'm so sorry. Do you think tomorrow you can bring Dolly to Travis's hospital room?", Elizabeth asked gently.
Taylor, still feeling thin streams of hot tears dribble down her cheek, pulled the top of her gown down. She propped a pillow under her elbow, bringing the hungry, fussy baby to her breast.
"I think so. I'll have to check with the nurse, but Dolly's healthy so I don't see why not", reasoned Taylor. She felt her eyelids get tired, but quickly focused on her baby.
"I should get going. I should let your dogs out and make sure your cats are fed", said Elizabeth, standing up from the uncomfortable hospital chair. Taylor nodded.
"Bye, take care", called Elizabeth, walking out the door.
"Looks like it's just you and me tonight girlie", yawned Taylor. Dolly had her bright blue eyes glued to her mother, absorbing every coo and word she spoke. It was as if Taylor knew all the secrets to the universe and Dolly was simply her listening pupil.
"Mhmm, I love you sweetie. You're the only good thing that has come out of this mess", said Taylor quietly. Oddly, the silence in the room felt tamed by her nonspeaking baby girl.
After Dolly finished eating,Taylor changed the baby's diaper and outfit, swaddling her in a blanket so she couldn't flail her little arms or legs in her sleep, waking herself up.
Taylor leaned against the headboard of the hospital bed, sighing as she rocked her fussy, tired baby.
Dolly's newborn cry rang loose, slowly slowing down as her mother began to gently sush her.
Taylor cradled the newborn, patting the baby's bottom in a rhythmic pattern to comfort her.
Oh, darling don't you ever grow up
