What A Beautiful Face She Has

Knowing her truth

Mathew's POV:

She got back to the kitchen after our encounter and was cooking something.

"Iva andha tablet potu one hour aagidum, innum iva thoongala? Apdina adhu sleeping pills kedaiyadhu."
(It’s been an hour since she took that tablet and she still hasn’t fallen asleep? Then it can’t be sleeping pills.)

I wanted to find out what tablets she was taking.

I silently entered her room and locked the door from inside.

I began searching for the tablets. Luckily, they were in the drawer. I picked up the bottle and examined it.

My eyes widened.
"Ada paavame, anxiety kaga eduthura pills ache?"
(Oh god… she's taking pills for anxiety?)

Does she have anxiety issues?
"Idhu theriyama poche, da."
(I had no idea.)

I quickly stepped out of her room and started Googling about anti-anxiety pills. In most cases, they’re used to suppress anxiety attacks.

"Apo, ivazhuku anxiety attacks varuma?"
(So… she actually gets anxiety attacks?)

I looked up the symptoms: breathlessness, chest pain, excessive sweating, dizziness…

She did have all of these when I saw her take the pill the first time.
"Apo, adhu dha anxiety attack huh?"
(Then that must’ve been an anxiety attack!)

She took the pill again today.
"Did she have an attack today? Should I ask her? Vendam."
(No, I shouldn’t. Let me try to find out without letting her know.)

While I was thinking, something struck my mind.

"Iva iniku book la edho azhudhutu ezhudhitu irundhale... andha book-a eduthu paatha theriyum."
(She was crying and writing in that book today… if I read it, I might understand.)

I made sure she was still in the kitchen and quietly entered her room.

I didn’t even have to search. The book was right on the bed where she’d left it.

I opened it to the page marked with the pen. It wasn’t a diary, just a notebook where she wrote her thoughts.

"Today, I had the shock of my life. The people whom I hated the most, the ones responsible for my trauma were at my doorstep. My mother said they wanted to surprise me, so they visited unannounced. I felt very uncomfortable. As usual, they body-shamed me and spoke rubbish about me. I felt helpless. But this time, I stood up for myself and didn’t act like a spineless woman. I back answered them back and showed them their place. They asked how someone like me, being this big, even got married. And my mom just stayed silent. Then Mathew walked in, and that idiot Juno asked me to stand next to Mathew to check our chemistry. I knew he'd mock me for not being a good fit for someone handsome like Mathew. So, before getting hurt, I rudely denied him and came inside.
After some time, my mother told me something that shattered me. She said I’ll pay for insulting her sister and her husband. She called me mannerless and shameless. What was my fault? Is being a sensitive girl a crime?

Yes, that’s my fault:
1. I’m overweight.
2. I’m overly sensitive.
3. I couldn’t defend myself when I was abused by them.

I’ll never forget the trauma Daisy and Juno gave me. The words Juno said 6 years ago are engraved in my heart and I’ll carry them to my grave.
My marriage is a mess. Even my husband doesn’t want me in his life. He hates me. And I feel guilty, because I think he started using marijuana because of me. I didn’t want..."