What A Beautiful Face She Has

Secrets - 4

April 10th, 2023

I'm on cloud nine because I'm going to marry him. Yes, he said yes! Thank you, God, for giving me what I wished for. Thank you so much. I was busy, but one thing bothered me,nhe agreed to marry me only on one condition: I must lose weight in the next six months.
Is that a red flag? No, no. He's saying it for my own good. I can do anything to win his heart. So, I’ve decided to lose weight.

April 20th, 2023

Today, Regina Ma was rushed to the hospital. The doctors said she doesn't have much time left. I never expected this. I truly wanted to spend time with her and take care of her like a good daughter-in-law. But God had different plans.
I’ve been praying for her, and I’m sure God will answer my prayers. Something inside me broke when I saw Mathew in tears. I couldn’t bear to see him cry. I tried to console him, but I felt so helpless.
Later, he made a shocking decision, he said he wants to get married as soon as possible. Tomorrow, I will become Stella Mathew. I don’t know whether I should be happy or sad. I’m terrified of losing Regina Ma, and at the same time, I’m marrying Mathew.

April 21st, 2023

Today, I officially became Stella Mathew. He’s my husband. I'm happy, but that happiness didn’t last.
Why? Because he broke my heart by calling me fat, again. He told me not to enter his room and gave me a separate room. He's ashamed to even stay with me.
Will he ever fall in love with me?

April 23rd, 2023

Regina Ma passed away yesterday. I was heartbroken, but what hurt me more was Mathew’s condition. He cried endlessly. I tried to console him, but when I asked if he wanted to eat something, he yelled at me.
Later, he fainted from hunger. Dad arrived with a doctor. Eventually, I managed to get him to eat something. He wouldn’t let me feed him, maybe he felt uncomfortable.
But then, he did something that gave me a bit of hope. He rested his head on my lap and fell asleep. I felt happy seeing him get a little closer to me.

August 23rd, 2023

Today, he came home from work and started yelling at me for not losing weight. He said so many hurtful things.
He even said he can't flaunt his wife in front of his friends.
Am I that disgusting? Why would someone even want to flaunt their wife like a trophy?
I confessed that I truly love him, but he just laughed and said I’m nothing more than a fat chick and a burden.
Am I really a burden?
I decided to stop talking to him. I should’ve done that the day he threw my gift off the balcony.
I made a mistake.

August 24th, 2023

My mother asked me to attend Heidi Anni’s baby shower. At first, I was hesitant, but later, I agreed. I shouldn't have.
I went only to be humiliated by Heidi Anni’s mother. She called me infertile and treated me like I was untouchable.
No one stood up for me, and that broke my heart.
When I got home, Mathew made it worse. He said at least now he could be stress-free since no man would even look at me, because I’m obese.
I’m writing this feeling incredibly anxious. I’m showing symptoms of an anxiety attack.

August 25th, 2023

Yesterday, I had my first anxiety attack. I’ve had anxiety issues ever since I heard that cruel statement from Juno, but I ignored it and never told anyone except Catherine Akka.
Mathew’s constant humiliation and Heidi Anni’s mother's comments made it worse.
I had to take anxiety pills just to stay in control.
What shocked me was that Mathew somehow found out I was taking pills.
But he doesn’t know they’re anxiety pills. I lied and said they were sleeping pills for my insomnia.
I can’t even ask him how he found out, he’ll just yell at me.
How do I even tell him that he is one of the reasons I need those pills?

August 27th, 2023

Today, he hugged me.
I don’t know why.
He asked for a coffee and then went to his room. When I followed, he asked why I wasn’t speaking to him properly. Then he said he missed his mother.
I tried to console him, and then he asked, "Who are you to me?"
He's confusing me so much. Just a few days ago, he called me a paying guest, and now he’s asking who I am to him.
I replied, “A paying guest.”
Then, he hugged me.
I don’t know why.
I feel feverish. I’m going to sleep now.

August 30th, 2023

Today, I had the shock of my life. The people who hurt me the most, those responsible for my trauma, were at my doorstep.
My mother said they came to surprise me. I felt sick just seeing them.
As always, they body-shamed me and spoke nonsense. But this time, I didn’t stay silent. I stood up for myself. I was not a spineless woman today.
I answered them back and put them in their place.
They asked how someone like me got married. My mom stayed silent.
Then Mathew entered, and they told me to stand next to him to see our “chemistry.”
I knew they were just going to laugh at me, at us. Before they could, I shut them down and walked away.
Later, my mother told me I’d pay for “insulting” her sister and husband. She called me mannerless and shameless.
What was my fault? Being sensitive? Standing up for myself?

Yes, that’s my fault.

First fault: I'm overweight.

Second: I'm too sensitive.

Third: I didn’t defend myself earlier when they abused me.

I will never forget the trauma Daisy and Juno gave me.
The words Juno said six years ago are engraved in my soul.

My marriage is a mess.
Even my husband doesn’t want me.
He hates me.
I feel guilty that he started using marijuana, because of me.
I don’t want him to destroy himself because of me.
He wants a divorce.
If it brings him peace, I’ll give it to him.
With a heavy heart, I’ve decided:
I’ll divorce him.
I’ll forget Mathew.
Maybe someone like me, a fat, sensitive girl doesn’t deserve a handsome man like him.

September 5th, 2023

I’m heartbroken.
He found out that I admired him before we met. He misunderstood everything and called me a slut who trapped him.
I swear, I never trapped him. I loved him before we even met, because of his writing. That’s all.
But now he says I’m after his money.
I think it’s time to give him what he wants, a divorce.
Not to escape, but to prove I was never a gold digger.
My love was real. It still is. But he’ll never understand.
It’s okay.
I think my feelings for him are dying now.
After what he called me today, I’ll never forgive him.
I fell for the wrong person.
That was my biggest mistake.

Hi guys, after a long time, oru update.

How's it?