Lookism: What Am I Even Doing?

Chapter Fifty-Seven: Prt. 2

My breath hitched. That proud, confident, part of me wanted to think that he was just bluffing but...it was the wild look in his eyes that convinced me otherwise. Back then, he wasn't using his full capabilities because he was afraid to kill me. So how strong did that exactly make him? And did the same apply to Richard and Haruki? Did that mean I technically didn't even win at all?

Once he saw my trembling eyes, he scoffed then pulled away from me, "One last thing. Jong-su wants you to make a big commotion with your Uncle. Do whatever you have to get him riled up. And make sure...that you...come up losing."

What kind of fucking request was that?

What was that fucker planning?

Well, regardless, causing a commotion was going to happen naturally. I don't need anyone telling me to mess shit up. I seem to do that naturally with everything I touch.

He unlocked the doors and I scrambled out with my box in tow.

Chin-hae gave me one final look, "And keep your mouth shut about all of this."

With that, I closed the door and he sped off. I bit down on my cheek until I could taste my blood. A hint of red poked out from the corner of my lips. I didn't notice it until I felt something trickle down my chin. I brought up my hand and roughly dragged it against my chin, wiping it away.

Damn it! DAMN IT! DAMN IT! DAMN IT!!!!

WHAT THE HELL AM I FUCKING SUPPOSED TO DO!!!

TO SHIT WITH ALL OF THIS!!!!!!

I raised my free fist into the hair and held it up there. It was shaking with pure anger as was the rest of my damn body. Though, no matter how I shook, now matter how angry I was, there was nothing I could absolutely do about any of this.

Nothing...

I brought my fist down to my hair then scrapped my nails along my scalp. Hard enough to feel pain but not enough to bleed.

I let out a stifled cry.

To hell...with all of this...

After composing myself for a couple minutes I finally managed to pull myself into a lucid enough state to walk towards home. I didn't bother using the front door and went to the one in the alleyway. Seo-ah had given me the spare keys I had brought with me yesterday night right before we left the hotel.

I stabbed the key into the keyhole but my hands froze before I could turn it. Why am I still hesitating? All this is going to do is waste energy for the real battle about to come. I walked into the shop and locked the door behind me. The first thing that hit me was the familiar lingering scent of fried chicken.

When the smell hit my nose, my feet staggered. I lost my balance and almost slammed into the wall. Had it not been for my quick reflexes, I would've alerted my Uncle of my presence. I looked up the staircase that ran up the house and saw bright light playing underneath it.

I know it was only the afternoon but the dark ambience of the place plus the light of the door made it seem like the middle of the night.

It was so...DIFFICULT for me to climb up those stairs. It didn't matter that I've climbed up them hundreds of times before, there was something that made them especially steeper today than any other day. And the struggle to walk into the house...I felt so tired by the end of it.

You have no idea how hard I was praying that no one would be here. That somehow, by some miracle, my Uncle had forgotten my existence. Or that they would simply take my presence as calm as accepting another stray. Oh how I wanted him to look at me with indifferent eyes.