Lookism: What Am I Even Doing?

Chapter Eight

Ever since that night with Zoe I've been running even longer in the mornings. Usually I do it to keep in shape but now I've been pushing myself to go as fast as I can. When did I get so slow? I swear I used to be so much faster than this. Was this what I get for spending all my time holed up in the basement?

Faster. Think of Zoe's trembling body as she cried into your shoulder. What if Little Daniel hadn't been there to call for help? You'd be the only person who could've helped you yet she'd probably be dead or broken because you weren't fast enough. It didn't matter if you got lost or not.

No matter how many dead ends you hit or round-a-bouts you circled, if you were faster then it wouldn't matter. I wobbled my way back into the front of the store. My Uncle was out back taking in the deliveries for this weeks supplies. I sat down on one of the chairs, puffing hot steamy air out from my mouth.

Uncle joined me last night for a run by the river. I left him in the dust not long after we started. He told me that I was fast already, that I should focus on conserving energy. It made sense. Half the time a fight isn't over in a couple of seconds. I wasn't doing this for fighting. I was doing this so I won't put anyone in danger for my slowness.

I glanced on the ticking clock on the wall behind me. Shit, its already seven-thirty. I was supposed to pick up my stuff from Outliers today. Outliers was a small self-defense store that sold all sorts of things. That's where I got most of my second-hand work out equipment actually.

I went the day after Zoe's accident to ask if they had any tasers. Good for me but not in store. Apparently carrying that kind of thing in Korean stores isn't as normalized as in the states. Heck, I remember going to a gas station back home and finding all sorts of bedazzled tasers. At last it gave me to chance to order them in bulk and pretty styles.

Hopefully they like pink and baby blue. The had to ship them all the way from another store in the states so the only colors they had available were an ugly orange and camo. I made sure to order them with chargers and everything. I'll go pick them up after school today.

Well, I better go get ready for school.

Someone's watching me. I could feel the hairs at the back of my neck stand. I stopped and pretended to tie the laces of my combat boots. People gave me a large berth as they head inside the school. I lifted my head just slightly so I could see the reflection of the glass door.

Yui? It really wasn't strange for someone to be watching me. There's always someone throwing me glances but her gaze felt different. It felt intentional. What the hell? Was she trying to start something? 

Oh, wait...don't tell me that thing with Vasco is still going on. Suddenly all the energy was drained out of me. Why does this shit always happen to me? I thought things would've settled down by now. Unless Hwan decided to go around stirring up shit again. I'll have a nicely worded conversation with him later.

Later that day when I was looking for Hwan I caught two people watering an empty patch of soil. I stopped and opened the window to get a good look. Ah, no wonder I found them familiar. It was Jace and Vasco. Did they plant vegetables or something? I always had a bad thumb when it came to gardening.

Where's that damn Hwan! I swear to god if Jeon told him I was looking for him so he could get away, they were both getting tossed out the damn window! My shoulders all healed up now so I'm dying to see just how well my strength has improved. 

Hmm? I leaned against the window as a smaller group of people approached. It was Daniel, Zack, and three of Zack's buds. I sighed. I have a bad feeling about this. From what I could hear about there conversation some kid in their class got hurt after getting scammed by a bunch of assholes.