Lookism: What Am I Even Doing?

Chapter Nineteen

Should I just skip school?

No, the whole point of me staying at Viola's place is so he won't worry about the state that I'm in. Skipping school just means phone calls and potential teacher meetings. Pain flared all around my body as I struggled to put on my bomber jacket. As long as I don't do anything too exertive today I'll be fine.

Viola offered to drive me but I could tell from the bags underneath her eyes it would only be more dangerous to let her take the wheel. I think I rather pass out in the middle of the street then get into a car crash. Also, I needed some time for myself. At least a couple of minutes.

Turns out Viola bought an apartment five minutes away from J High. I want to think of it as a coincidence but knowing her it was completely intentional. Why are all the people I know so damn unhinged? I should be happy they consider me 'friend' rather than 'foe'.

Damn. Breathing was getting a bit difficult too. Viola told me there was something wrong with my back again. Something about bruised muscle tissue. Honestly I wasn't paying attention. It was just a bunch of medical term jumbo that some dumbass like me couldn't understand. All I needed to know was what pills to take at what time and when to change my bandages if I needed to.

I subconsciously reached to the thick coverage on my nose. Suddenly I'm feeling pretty bad. I looked around to see a bunch of students from my school starring at me and whispering. Maybe I should go back if this is how people are going to be around me all day. I'm too tired to deal with this whispering bullshit.

And that's just from the broken nose. Wait until they notice the bandages and tape on the rest of my body. I smiled. I don't regret it one bit though. Considering who I was up against I'll say I did pretty good. Later I'm pretty sure I'm going to get depressed that I wasn't strong enough to win so let me have this moment.

To bad it only lasted a couple minutes. By the front gate, with his small scooter stationed at the edge of the sidewalk, was my Uncle. He took a long drag from his cigarette then looked at me before puffing out the smoke. 

Well fuck.

I walked up to him, ignoring everyone's side glances, "What are you doing here?"

He stomped out his cigar, "I knew something was up when that friend of yours came over in the middle of the night. Usually you'll text me if your going to be late. From your face I can you went our fighting again."

I couldn't look him in the eyes, "So what if I did? And can you not smoke? I don't like it."

He scoffed, "What a hypocrite. And I don't like fighting yet here we are. You know I stopped smoking when they told me I was going to have to take care of you? Your dad mentioned to me before he di-he told me how much you hated it so I stopped for you. I've been doing it for half my life yet I chose to stop for you. Seeing as your not going to keep your promise then why should I?"

Wh-what? What the hell was wrong with this old man to be talking to me like this? That's when I looked into his eyes. My Uncle who was normally calm and patient with me...he was angry. He was angry because he was afraid.  Well, no one told him to fucking look after me. I told them I would be fine on my own but these damn adults think they know everything.

"That's not fair."

"What's not fair? That I'm telling the truth? I'm going to admit it, I'm not a good parental figure. Damn, why do you think I never had kids? But would it be too much to ask for you to stop going around doing stupid things?!"

Some of the students turned around too look at us. I glared at them to mind their own business. I don't have time for this stuff. But I bet he waited for me here on purpose. If he were to wait for me to go back to the shop I could ignore him as much as I wanted to. Out here, I was left vulnerable. There's not much I could say without revealing some part of myself that I wished to have hidden.