Lookism: What Am I Even Doing?

Ila's Suicide Note

Uncle, when you read this I want you to know that it wasn't your fault. There are things from my past that I could never shake away. I was naïve to think I could live a comfortable life with all of you here. For a while, I really started to believe it was possible.

And in some way, I should've seen this coming. I never deserved any of this. Not after everything I put you through or anyone for that matter. I was selfish. I put myself first without thinking of the consequences. I was impulsive. I was rash.

I was a fucking asshole.

And I still am.

But even more importantly, I'm a coward.

I'm so sorry to everyone. Can you tell them that for me? That I'm sorry? It was never my intention to hurt anyone. If anything, I only wanted the best for y'all. But I'm not as strong as I pretend to be.

Run the business for me. Daniel has a job as long as he wants it.

In my drawer, in the bottom shelf, there's a book with a bunch of recipes I wrote down. Can you give it to Sookie for me? She's been asking me for them for a while.

I left my Burn Knuckle jacket on the chair in your room. That's for Vasco. Tell him I'm really sorry for everything I did to him and that I couldn't find the courage to give it to him in person.

There are a dozen more things that I wish I could give to everyone in person but it would make this letter, well note, too long. So I'll leave it up to you to distribute it. And um...well, I...I-you were a pretty cool Uncle.

I hope you can forgive me.

(PS. Take away that damn gun from Viola before she goes off shooting people to "avenge my death.")

Am I supposed to sign this off like a letter or do I like...just-well nevermind.

From, Ila