Dysfunctional ~ F.Hargreeves

36} Facing The Past... Literally

"So..." Bill whistled, trying to figure out how to break the news to Jenna, "The Other Five may or may not be planning to not actually go through with the plan and kill off your Five."
"What!?" Jenna exclaimed.
"Shhhhh," He immediately shushed her, "If Luther finds out that I told you he'll strangle me."
"Luther's in on it too?"
"Yeah, they're in cahoots with each other," He gestured between her brother-in-law and Adult Five, "Don't tell your Five yet either. We'll see how everything plays out and go from there. Trust me, I don't wanna see your Five pop out of existence. As much as I hate to admit it, you two are one of the best, yet most dysfunctional, couples I've ever met and I don't want you two to lose that."
"Awe. Thanks Bill. I'll keep an eye out. And it looks like you've been promoted to double spotter; for me and Five."
"Yay..." He sarcastically cheered, "Lucky me."
"Oh, fuck. What's going on with those two?" Jenna pointed to her husband and Luther.
"That bastard," Bill scoffed, "This will be fun to watch, trust me."

They both watched intently as Luther approached Five.
"Hey, brother," Jenna and Bill eavesdropped on Luther, "How you doing?"
"He's gonna kill me, isn't he?" Five muttered.
"What? What, him? He's gonna kill you? Yeah, right. That's ridiculous," Luther poorly lied.
"You know, you're a terrible liar, Luther. You're a worse liar than you are a spotter."
"Okay, whose fault is that? What good is having a spotter if you won't even listen to him?"
"So you admit you're conspiring against me?"
"Do... Do you admit that you're suffering from paradox psychosis?"
"All I'm suffering from is bracing clarity about you and your murderous intentions. Is Bill in on it too, huh?" Five turned around to glare at Bill.
"What?" Bill gulped, "No, no, no. I mean, I knew about it and told Jenna, but I'm not a part of this. I swear."

"Bill? You're leaving me?" Luther pouted.
"Once again, buddy, that sounds weird," Bill grimaced," And I never agreed on the plan, so technically, I didn't leave."
"Look," Luther shook his head, trying to come up with a defence, "It's not like he's gonna 'kill you' kill you. He just wants to kill a, um... version of you."
"But I am that version of me!" Five exclaimed.
"Hey, I don't love it either, but he's actually got a pretty good plan."
"No he doesn't!" Bill rolled his eyes.

"What?" Five butted in, "The one where you guys off me and then jump to 2019 to save the world while he steals MY version of Jenna? Sound about right?"
"Yeah, wait, how did you know that?" Luther scrunched up his face in confusion.
"Steal me?" Jenna looked at Bill, appalled, "You didn't say anything about that."
"I didn't wanna stress you out more," He shrugged.
"Fuck you," She kicked his leg.
"I deserved that," He squeaked out in pain.

"I know because I'm him, and that is exactly what I would do if I were trying to kill me!" Five yelled at Luther.
"Okay, all I know is we've got one Five too many, and you're the one acting like a maniac."
"Maniac?" Five's eyes widened, "Luther, you have seen nothing. If you want a maniac, I will show you maniac."
"Five," Jenna warned, "Are you at stage seven? Be honest."
"No!" He threw his hands in the air, "Um- sorry. Didn't mean to direct that at you. It should've been directed at him!" Five pointed to the other version of himself in a fit of rage.
"It's like I'm raising a toddler," Jenna whispered to Bill, "Again."
"Is he better behaved or worse than Stephen?" Bill questioned.
"Oh, way worse," Jenna sighed, sadly.

"Five," Luther took a deep breath in before continuing, "As your spotter, I think the best thing I can do for you right now is put you out of your misery."
"Okay, Luther, listen," Five stopped and grabbed his brother by the shoulders, causing Jenna and Bill to abruptly stop when they bumped into the gorilla man, "I know your feeble mind only responds to age and authority, so listen very closely. Yet again, you are experiencing daddy issues," Jenna and Bill started to laugh, but Bill covered her mouth while she covered his so they didn't distract the boys, "This time with your own brother, which honestly is making me a bit crazy. But remember this: I'm fourteen days older than him. I have seniority here. So it is me you should be listening to, Luther. I'm the daddy here!"