Dysfunctional ~ F.Hargreeves

36} Facing The Past... Literally

Just prior to Luther's conversation with teen Five, Five's paradox psychosis seemed to be catching up to him as he was yelling at anyone who looked at him wrong.
"What are you looking at!?" Five screamed at a pedestrian, "Asshole! Mind your business! Or I'll give you something to stare at."
"Sweetie," Jenna tried to calm him down by squeezing his hand, but failed.
"You wish you could pull off these shorts!" He finished and continued to itch his arms.
"Hey," Jenna rubbed his shoulder and grabbed his hand again while she itched her neck with her other hand, "Calm the fuck down."
"No," He snapped, "I will not! He was looking at me funny and I am not funny. I'm sophisticated and manly."
"Why did I take you back?" Jenna shook her head and fell back with Bill into their conversation.

As she did so, that's when Luther approached Five.
"Hey, brother," Jenna and Bill eavesdropped on Luther, "How you doing?"
"He's gonna kill me, isn't he?"
"What? What, him? He's gonna kill you? Yeah, right. That's ridiculous."
"You know, you're a terrible liar, Luther. You're a worse liar than you are a spotter."
"Okay, whose fault is that? What good is having a spotter if you won't even listen to him?"
"So you admit you're conspiring against me?"
"Do... do you admit that you're suffering from paradox psychosis?"
"All I'm suffering from is bracing clarity about you and your murderous intentions. Is Bill in on it too, huh?" Five turned around to glare at Bill.
"What?" Bill gulped, "No, no, no. I mean, I knew about it and told Jenna, but I'm not a part of this."

"Look," Luther tried to defend himself, "it's not like he's gonna 'kill you' kill you. He just wants to kill a, um... version of you."
"But I am that version of me!" Five exclaimed.
"Hey, I don't love it either, but he's actually got a pretty good plan."
"No he doesn't!" Bill yelled in.
"What?" Five was already thinking ahead, "The one where you guys off me and then jump to 2019 to save the world while he steals MY version of Jenna? Sound about right?"
"Yeah, wait, how did you know that?" Luther scrunched up his face in confusion.
"Steal me?" Jenna looked at Bill, "You didn't say anything about that."
"I didn't wanna stress you out more," He shrugged.
"Fuck you," She kicked his leg.
"I deserved that," He squeaked out in pain.

"Because I'm him, and that is exactly what I would do if I were trying to kill me!" Five told Luther.
"Okay, all I know is we've got one Five too many, and you're the one acting like a maniac."
"Maniac?" Five's eyes widened, "Luther, you have seen nothing. If you want a maniac, I will show you maniac."
"Five," Jenna warned, "Are you at stage seven? Be honest."
"No!" He threw his hands in the air, "Um- sorry. Didn't mean to direct that at you. It should've been directed at him!" Five pointed to the other version of himself in a fit of rage.
"It's like I'm raising a toddler," Jenna whispered to Bill, "Again."
"Is he worse or better than Stephen?" Bill questioned.
"Oh, way worse."

"Five," Luther started again, "as your spotter, I think the best thing I can do for you right now is put you out of your misery."
"Okay, Luther, listen," Five stopped and grabbed his brother by the shoulders, causing Jenna and Bill to abruptly stop when they bumped into the gorilla man, "I know your feeble mind only responds to age and authority, so listen very closely. Yet again, you are experiencing daddy issues," Jenna and Bill started to laugh, but Bill covered her mouth while she covered his to not distract the two boys, "this time with your own brother, which honestly is making me a bit crazy. But remember this: I'm fourteen days older than him. I have seniority here. So it is me you should be listening to, Luther. I'm the daddy here!"

Jenna couldn't contain her laughter anymore and fell on her ass onto the street while people passing by next to her stared at Five.
"What's so funny?"  Five looked at her.
"You!" She wiped away a stray tear.
"I'm manly and sophisticated, not funny. We went over this."
"Yeah, you may be those things, but if you call yourself daddy, you're funny."
"Like you're one to talk. You're having major daddy issues yourself!"
"Shut up!" Jenna got to her feet and wrapped her hand around her husband's mouth, then whispered, "I will not have you mess up the timeline by telling Bill anything, got me? Or I will kill you myself, Five Hargreeves."
"Noted," He said, muffled by Jenna's hand.
"Good. And don't call yourself daddy ever again unless you're a dad again, got it?"
"Uh, sure?"