Dysfunctional ~ F.Hargreeves

53} End-Of-The-World Announcements

Another kugelwave unleashed itself and sent Jenna to the ground.
"We don't have time for this," Five picked Jenna up on his back and hurried out of the room into the foyer with Viktor close behind.
"Get Ben," Jenna winced, causing Five to blink, grab Ben, and take all three of them out of the building to safety.
Jenna watched from Five's arms at the kugelblitz consumed the entire academy and the buildings around it. Five slowly but surely spatial jumped himself, Jenna, and Ben back to the hotel. It was one of the few buildings still left standing in the world as the kugelblitz had started to consume everything else. Everyone, minus Reggie and Klaus, gathered in the second floor lounge for the hotel. Jenna laid on the floor healing her wounds which were killing her more and more each minute until healed.

"So, how is it that we're still here," Allison pointed in the air, "but the whole of the universe is going down the cosmic shitter?"
"Maybe we're just the last to get flushed," Viktor suggested.
"Wasn't talking to you," Allison shot back.
"Has anyone seen Klaus?" Jenna let out a deep breath from healing her chest, "I miss him."
"Or Dad?" Sloane added.
"They'll be here," Diego messed with one of his knives.
"Really?" Ben fake pouted, "Did they... hit traffic? Look, people, we're alive because we're special, right? We're the only ones who can save the universe."
"Uh, question," Allison put a finger up.
"Yes," Ben accepted.
"Didn't we just try that and fail miserably?"
"Yeah, it's because his plan was stupid," Diego snarked, "I got a better one."
"'Course you do," Ben rolled his eyes.
"We go with the large hard-on particle accelerator. You guys do some science, and..." He made a fake baseball hitting bat sound, "... we launch the kugelblitz into outer space. Didn't think I knew that, did ya? It's in Switzerland."

"It's hadron," Ben tried to contain his laughter, "not hard-on, ya moron!"
"Oi!" Lila yelled, "At least he's trying, you shitty little squid. What have you contributed?"
"Actually," Diego pointed to Ben, "He did blow up half his family."
"Oh, you wanna talk about family problems?" Ben got defensive, "You know what should've blown up is your face on that neck!"
"I wish I had a cake to hit you with in your face!"
"What are you talking about?" Ben started saying in Korean.
"You better cut that out..." Diego turned to Spanish.
"Shut up!" Ben continued in Korean.
"Are you two done!?" Jenna freaked out, "The literal universe as we know it is disappearing outside right now. So you can keep rearranging the deck chairs of the Titanic if it makes you feel better. But the fact remains that we are too fucking late."

"Come on, Jenna," Luther blew her off.
"She's right, Luther," Five sat next to her, "We failed."
"Come on," Viktor couldn't fathom it, "it can't be over over."
"Yeah, come on you two," Diego joined in, "We gotta figure this out, man."
"Okay," Five reasoned, "How about we take a step back? Look at the big picture here. Most of us spent the last twenty eight days trying to stop the world from ending. What exactly have we accomplished?" Everyone stood and thought for a moment.
"Well, we made some friends along the way," Luther smiled and looked down at Sloane beside him.
"Incorrect!" Five yelled like a game show host, "You know what we've done? Nothing. We made things worse every single time."
"Amen to that," Allison fake toasted.
"Look," Five took a deep sigh, "when I went to the Commission, I had a conversation with my 100-year-old self. And my last words were, 'Don't save the world'."
"'Don't save the world'?" Viktor wanted to make sure he heard correctly.
"'Don't save the world'," Five restated.

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard," Diego scoffed.
"Is it?" Luther came to his senses, "Well, whatever we're doing's not working. All we ever do is save the world for a day, pat ourselves on the back, and then everything goes to shit again."
"Yeah, maybe we're the problem," Viktor frowned at his own words.
"Oh, yeah. Us," Allison scoffed at her brother.
"So, wait," Lila checked in, "your big plan is no plan?"
"Exactly," Five finally sounded excited, "Conscientious objection. Why the hell not? We've tried everything else. Look, maybe this is just what the universe needs, as much as I hate to admit it given the latest news. I say, embrace the apocalypse. See what's on the other side."
"What if it's... nothing?" Sloane looked scared.
"Then it's been nice knowing you all and Jenna," He squeezed his wife's hand, "I'm so sorry."