Dysfunctional ~ F.Hargreeves

49} The Mothers Of Agony

"Well," Klaus clapped his shoes together in his hands, "That went great!" He threw them on the ground and set up shots for himself, Jenna, and Five at the bar.
"I don't want one," Jenna pushed her glass away.
"The world's ending," Klaus reasoned, "Why not?"
"Because drinking was one thing that haunted me when I was younger and even to my last few days I wanna sober up."
"Awe," He cooed, "So much better than Five and I. There," He poured Five's shot.
"Thanks," Five accepted, "I saw my future self die."
"That's crazy," Klaus exaggerated, "Almost the exact same thing happened to me. But I didn't die, but I did, but..."
"He told me not to save the world," Five ignored his brother, "And then he died. What do you think he meant by that?"
"Well, shouldn't you know?"
"Shouldn't you know about your- never mind."
"Well," Klaus held his shot glass up with Five and Jenna's empty one, "up your ass."
"Salud," Five toasted.
"Get wasted, bitches!" Jenna cheered them on.

"Klaus," Five said, "I've dedicated my entire life to stopping the apocalypse. Apocalypses, plural. And he tells me... that it's- it's, what? It's meaningless?"
"Maybe you should listen to yourself-" Jenna tried to reason, but her husband continued.
"Maybe that's his way of saying not to become him, but..."
"Oh, you're really messed up about this, huh?" Klaus realized.
"I've cheated time so much, I guess I just figured I'd somehow cheat death. But it turns out, I die a one-armed nightmare inside a bureaucratic hellscape of my own design with zero clue of where Jenna is, if she was even still alive."
"Spoiler alert!" Klaus joked.
"Not to mention the trashy tattoo," Five pulled out the slab of chest skin from his pocket and threw it on the bar.
"The fuck, Five?" Jenna groaned, "you kept that on you? Where's the other one? I'm supposed to match with that one."

"Ugh!" Klaus cringed, "Is this your skin?"
"I'll be damned if I go out with an old man tramp stamp."
"If you don't wanna end up like this guy, why don't you just do something completely different? Completely different- move upstate, become an alpaca farmer. Oooh! Maybe do whatever Jenna's always wanted to do."
"We could," Five grabbed Jenna's hand, giving her a sliver of hope, "The timeline's malleable. We've proven that much. I can try and break the cycle, but-"
"Yeah, sure," Klaus pointed to Five's arms, "just keep your arms and extremities away from sharp objects, and don't join the Mothers of Agony."
"What?"
"The tattoo. It's the symbol of the biker gang, the Mothers of Agony. Like two timelines ago, they were... how do I put it? My farmacistas."
"This is good," Five tucked the skin away, "Maybe I can figure something out without Jenna having to spill her secret."
"Her what?" Klaus looked lost, "Oh, that she's-"
"Thanks Klaus," Five grabbed Jenna's hand and spatial jumped them away.
My head can't take any more of this.

The couple reappeared right in front of the bar. They walked through a crowd of bikers and their bikes until they made their way inside. Once in, Five grabbed her hand again as he saw tons of creepy men and scary women.
"You kids lost?" One of the men laughed at them.
Jenna flipped him off and continued walking past a stripper who was in the center of the room.
"You better keep your eyes looking forward," Jenna threatened her husband, "Or I will gut you."
"Eyes are forward. Don't gut me."
At the far end of the room they approached a 'Members Only' door, which Five immediately opened. Inside was a small, dingy tattoo studio.
"I've been looking for you," Five told the tattoo artist.
He turned around and revealed himself to be none other than Pogo.

He took a puff of his cigarette before saying, "I don't tattoo children."
"Swell," Five smiled, "I'm not here for the ink. I'm here because you and I have a mutual friend. Sir Reginald Hargreeves."
Pogo sighed, "Whatever he wants, I'm not interested."
"I don't think you understand. I'm one of his children. From another timeline."
Pogo stopped tattooing his client, "Another timeline?"
"As crazy as it sounds, you and I have met before. Back in 1963, when you were a diaper-wearing chimp in dire need of a manicure. I don't know if you remember," Five pulled back his collar, "but I have a scar to prove it."
"If what you're saying is true, I'd be talking to a man well into his sixties."
"We're actually fifty eight," Jenna corrected.
"Who are you?" Pogo asked.
"I'm his wife," She rolled up her sleeve, "And the experiment Reginald funded years ago. I'm sure you've seen the files on me."
"Ah, yes. The supposedly failed electricity experiment. Number one. Now, if you'll both excuse me, I've had a very long day."