Dysfunctional ~ F.Hargreeves

42} Welcome To The Hotel Obsidian

The Hargreeves all met back up at a little dock on the edge of a pond not too far from their prior timeline home, all groaning in pain from their various fights.
"Just gonna sit," Luther grunted as he plopped down on a bench, "I'm just gonna sit for a minute."
Jenna and Five sat together at a picnic table, Klaus laid on top of the other, Diego stood near the railing, all while Allison sat on a bench near Luther.
"That didn't go well," Diego pointed out.
"No, not our best work," Five agreed.
"Oh, I'm cracking," Klaus cracked his back.
"I thought I kicked some ass," Jenna shrugged.
"Stop bragging," Diego rolled his eyes.
"Just because I'm better at fighting than you doesn't mean you can gripe at me, Batman," Jenna flipped him off jokingly.

"You all right?" Allison asked Luther.
"I don't know yet," Luther stared mindlessly off in the distance, "I've just never had my ass handed to me like that before. It's like..." He held his hands out towards Allison, "Here you go. It's your ass."
"Okay," Allison concluded, "I think Luther's concussed."
"Luther, how many fingers?" Klaus sat up and held his hand out towards his brother, wiggling his fingers around.
"Oh my god. Vanya," Luther realized she was missing.
"Oh," She appeared from around the corner and joined them, "Thank god you're alive. You okay?"
"Apparently, so is Ben," Klaus commented.
"Yeah," Allison agreed, "And he's a complete dickhead."
"They're all dickheads," Diego snarked.
"Dickheads who can fight," Luther added.
"Okay," Five said on the verge of snapping, "Next person to say 'dickhead' is getting a punch to the throat."
All of his siblings started saying 'dickhead' around him.
"Dickhead," Jenna whispered in his ear and started chuckling, causing Five to roll his eyes and nudge her with his foot.

"Hey," Diego recouped their attention, "Did Dad tell you why he was calling them his kids?"
"He sure did!" Klaus exclaimed, "You ready? Dad was so repulsed by us back in Texas, that he adopted an entirely different group of children just so that he didn't have to raise us."
"Oh, that's just peak Dad," Diego laughed in disbelief.
"Isn't it?" Luther scoffed.
"So he just didn't want us anymore?" Vanya asked.
"Did he ever?" Allison replied, sarcastically.
"See?" Luther pointed to Five, "I told you we shouldn't have asked for his help back in '63."
"I think you're all missing the big picture here," Jenna rolled her eyes, "Your dad didn't adopt y'all as kids, so he changed the timeline."
"Exactly," Five agreed, "So who knows what else is different now."

"Shouldn't you know?" Allison gestured to him and Jenna.
"Sorry, Allison," Five shot back, "But it may take me more than twenty minutes and a traumatic brain injury to figure this all out. Is that okay with you?"
"Plus, we had our minds fucked with," Jenna started to rub Five's back, "It's gonna take a sec."
"No, actually, it's not okay," Allison retorted.
"Guys, look, it's fine," Vanya mediated, "We still have the Commission's briefcase, so worst case, we can just go back in time and fix it."
"So..." Jenna sucked in a deep breath, "There's two major problems with that statement."
"First off," Five butted in, "Time travel is complicated, people."
"Yeah, we get it," Diego rolled his eyes, "Your job is so hard. Just... what?"
"And secondly," Jenna continued on, "We may or may not have the briefcase still. And by that... I mean we do not."
"Five, Jenna," Allison stood up and walked closer to them, "Where the hell is the briefcase?"
Jenna scratched the back of her neck while Five sighed and grabbed her free hand.

With the Hargreeves left with nothing to do and nowhere to go, they all started to wander around the city.
"What are we doing?" Allison finally asked.
"Ruminating," Five shrugged.
"Why is everyone staring at us?" Klaus questioned, glancing around at all of the eyes on them.
"Because we look like the damn Village People just lost a fight," Diego pointed out and snatched Klaus' hat, starting a small fight over it.

"You know what?" Allison stopped in her tracks, "I need to go find Claire. I will catch up with you guys later."
"Hey, Allison, no," Vanya reasoned, "First, let's get somewhere safe, clean up those cuts, and then we'll go find her."
"Man I hate those guys," Luther pouted as billboards of the Sparrows came into view across the city skyline, "Look at 'em with their... stupid smug..."
"You can do it. You can do it," Klaus encouraged.
"...s...s...smug... smugness," Luther finished off.
"Keep working on it, big guy," Klaus patted him on the back, "You'll land one, eventually."