Dysfunctional ~ F.Hargreeves

67} Mystery Town Shootout

New Grumpson, as the family discovered, was a quaint little town that was decorated out the wazoo with Christmas decor. As the Hargreeves siblings roamed around, they split off into groups. Viktor, Luther, and Allison were together while Five went by himself from the fussy married couple. While Luther was digging through antique store bins and raving over sconces he found for a killer price, Diego was showing off to Lila by winning a multitude of prizes from an axe throwing game.
"All right," He looked down at the four reindeer prizes he'd won, "I got Grace and the twins covered. Plus one for Jenna and Five's baby when that thing pops out. You want one?"
"No thanks," Lila wandered off and left Diego alone.

Five stood near the carousel in the middle of the festival New Grumpson had been hosting and tried to force himself to blink back to the subway.
"Blink," He muttered to himself, "Just... blink."
"Doing your Kegels in public now, are we?" Lila commented on his pathetic failed attempts.
"You know," He stopped for a moment, "Just trying to stay limber. Not give myself deep vein thrombosis."
"Mmm," Lila sarcastically hummed, "At your age, you gotta look out for that."
"What do you want, Lila?"
"I just wanted to say thank you."
"For what?"
"For not outing me in front of my idiot husband the other night."
"Oh. Well, standard operating procedure. Hey, so how worried do you think we have to be about this Cleanse thing?"
"Hard to say. You know, I used to think the Keepers were 90% batshit, but since I've been roofied with dodgy Marigold, and I'm shooting laser beams out of my eyeballs, I'll give 'em fifty-fifty."

"Right," Five nodded, "Well, after this, we'll go back, find Jean and Gene," Five gestured behind him, "Diego."
"What are you two talking about?" Diego questioned.
"Trying to decide which festive drink to partake in," Lila quickly lied.
"And?" Diego pushed.
"Well, mulled wine for myself," Five said, "Eggnog for the lady."
"You hate eggnog," Diego eyed his wife suspiciously.
"I'm trying new things," She shrugged.
"I'm sure you are," He squinted at her with a slight sneer.

~

Jenna dusted herself off as soon as she appeared in Seoul, South Korea. The last doppelgänger she needed to hunt down was Ben's, or better known by his name in the current timeline, Taemin. He was a successful entrepreneur at a tech company, unlike Ben, whose Sparrow Coin landed him in jail. Jenna wandered around until she found the coffee shop she was looking for.
"There she is," Hazel gave her a warm smile.
"Yeah," Cha Cha scoffed, "Twenty minutes late."
"You try dealing with being pregnant," Jenna braced her back as she sat down, "It's tough. I should've delivered this little shit by now."
"Let's hope it's after we finish this little scavenger hunt you sent us on," Cha Cha rolled her eyes.

"So," Hazel finished his last sip of coffee, "Where do we need to go, Jen?"
"Here," Jenna handed them the note with the target's name on it, "Find him and bring him back to the US."
"Why can't you do this bullshit?" Cha Cha crossed her arms over her chest, "You can teleport 'n shit."
"I have other things to worry about now. I think my idiot family is going to move Jennifer and I need her where she is in order for everything to work. Can you guys manage getting him overseas?"
"Of course we can," Hazel laughed, "Do you have the private jet lined up?"
"Yup, and a car for when you land. I'll update you on the address later, but for now, plan on taking him to New Grumpson, Maine."
"I guess we're on it," Cha Cha stood up, "Come on, Hazel. I wanna get this done with and leave with my bank."
"Love you, too!" Jenna called out.

She walked out of the cafe and teleported herself back to the subway. She'd made a little home for herself down there along with various journals and maps scattered throughout the entirety of the system. She laid down in her bed, ready to fall asleep again, when she felt something slightly off around her.
Those dipshits are probably up to no good again, aren't they?