𝐅𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞: 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐦

Chapter 27

"Taimingu ga warui no kamo shirenai..."

Maybe it's bad timing.

I could see the hopelessness in his beautiful face.

Umiling ako sa sinabi niya. "Sōde wa arimasenga, Shawn..."

It's not that, Shawn...

I tried to lighten up the mood, but he seemed so sad about the rejection. Gusto ko man magsalita ngunit hindi ko kaya. I remained quiet with him.

Kung gaano kasaya at kaingay ang paligid, iyon naman ang kalungkot at katahimik namin. Ang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko, pero hindi iyon dahil sa may nararamdaman akong kakaiba sa kaniya, kundi dahil sa nerbiyos. I was nervous to answer him honestly... to reject him.

It's not that I don't like him... He's kind, sweet, soft spoken, smart, and handsome. Kahit sino namang babae ay gusto mapunta sa isang katulad niya... Pero sabi pa ng kaibigan kong si Yuna, I couldn't just like someone else if there's still a person from the past inside my heart. Masasaktan ko lang siya, pati na rin ang sarili ko.

"Shawn..."

He looked at me, with a faint smile. "Daijōbu, Zin..."

It's okay, Zin...

"You don't have to force yourself to like me... I'm glad you're being real to your feelings."

I bit my lower lip, trying not to cry. "I want to be honest with you, Shawn. I fell in love with someone before... and I still couldn't move on from him..."

Parang naiintindihan niya ang tinutukoy kong minahal ko noon, nakikita ko iyon sa kaniyang mapupungay niyang mga mata. "The guy you chased before in the train station."

My mouth fell open. How does he know about it? Kapansin-pansin ba talaga..?

Hawak hawak niya pa rin ang kamay ko. "How would I not notice, Zin... That guy wore the same scarf as yours. He also looked like he's the same age as us... You almost got into danger when you started to chase him... You called his name... Your eyes tell... Your expression tells, Zin."

"But I understand you... I've also had my past relationships... and it was also hard to move on from one of them. I was a heartbreaker... and I wanted to change myself... when I met you. You made me feel what love is, Zin."

My tears fell in an instant. Bumigat bigla ang dibdib ko. I felt sorry... I felt miserable... Why did I hurt good guys who genuinely and purely loved me? Why am I like this..? Why are they falling for someone like me? I'm no better than anyone else there.

I kept whispering my apology to him. Gusto ko man ulitin ang lahat, pero gano'n pa rin ang magiging resulta. I couldn't welcome him in my heart... I couldn't replace the guy I loved before to him. Hindi ko kaya... Mahal ko pa rin talaga ito.

I promised to wait for him.

"Korekara mo tomodachi no mamade īdesu ka..?" he asked whispery.

Can we still remain as friends?

"Mochiron..." I answered softly.

Of course...

I didn't fight when he pulled me into a warm hug. Patuloy pa rin ang bagsak ng mga luha ko, at patuloy din ang paga-apologize ko sa kaniya. He would whisper back that it's okay... Huwag ko raw pilitin ang sarili ko. He's very glad I'm honest with my feelings, most especially when it comes to him.

He didn't say a word after that. Hindi niya sinabi na hihintayin niya ako hanggang sa kaya ko nang magmahal ng iba. He didn't. Sinamahan niya pa rin ako hanggang sa makarating na kami sa building ng condo ko.